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I admit it...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I care what people think. I hate it.

Today on our trip around the lake I was on my own for most of it so Pagona could get the run she needs out of it. There were sections in the route that I knew I could run a little bit, but was terrified to do it because I cared what people would think of the "big girl running." GOD FORBID I see someone I knew. I kept saying to myself, "Okay as soon as this car passes I'll start because I don't see anymore cars," but then another car would pop up and another car and another car...

I know, I know, I know... who cares - you have to do it for yourself - don't worry about anyone else. I know all this. Unfortunately, the information does not translate well while out in the open world. I get self conscious and quite frankly - embarrassed. I know another ten pounds and surely 20 pounds I'll be much more comfortable to start running in public.

Anyone else self conscious? Were you when you started?
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  • BUTTERFLYWINGZ
    Yes! I do the exact same thing - I wait until the car or person passes and then I don't feel so silly. I keep telling myself that I am the one running & they are the one walking or sitting in a car... but it still doesn't seem to help my self-conciousness. We'll get there...
    4187 days ago
  • PAGONA
    I'm glad you were able to put your feeling on paper well the blog. I know everyone at some point has been there and I still at times. Even though I've lost a lot of weight I'm just now beginning to see the pretty me, the skinny me and all those other me's I wanted to be for so long. It was hard to get there, but I did. and those people I cared so much about that they thought had no idea who I am, and who cares if they do.

    Today when I was running I had a few people honk there horns at me, and I looked to see if I knew them at first then no sooner I forgot about it. the only reason I remember it right now is because of your comment. come tomorrow I would of forgotten all about it. But on that same run today some did noticed me and was very excited to see that I was out there and doing this for myself.

    Angela you are doing this for you and no one else remember that.

    I hope this helps, I'm so proud of where you are in just a few short weeks, and I can't wait to see where you will be in a few short months. Don't be embarrassed you are a beautiful person both inside and out.

    Your Friend Pagona
    4188 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/2/2010 7:51:07 PM
  • THIRDXACHARM
    OMG - we are just alike!! I told my husband that same thing recently, that I find myself embarrassed to run when other people are around because they will think, "look at that fat girl trying to run" or "she's definitely not a runner". Fortunately, I've gotten a little better and will run as much as I can even when other people pass by; however, I'm still very self conscious and always thinking that they can hear my labored breathing or even worse what if I am tired or out of breath and I have to stop running while someone can see me. Embarrassing!! But, we can't let that stop us. We'll never see those people again - most of them anyway - and if we do then the next time they see us we'll look so much better because we persevered no matter what people thought. Keep running!!!
    4188 days ago
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