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Frustration with Family Members

Monday, February 15, 2010

My evening started off fantastically. I was standing on the reformer, looking at myself in the mirror to check my position, and noticed that my thighs were looking much smaller in my tight yoga pants. That made me feel wonderful. However, things went down hill quickly once I got home.

Normally, I do all of the cooking in the household since I love to cook and it allows me more control over how the food is prepared. However, I was away most of the weekend and didn't have a chance to prep extras for supper tonight since I am always home late after my Pilates class and work. So, my mom got it in her head to make something. When I got home she said she found a recipe on SP for about 250 calories per serving for a chicken, rice, and vegetable casserole. The serving size seemed small, but it turned out okay. I added some frozen veggies, and thought I was all good. It wasn't what I expected since I had been promised grilled chicken breasts, mashed potatoes, and frozen veggies, but I thought it could be a decent substitution.

Turns out I was wrong. My first bite told me something wasn't quite right. It was way too salty and didn't seem to have too many veggies. When I went to add the casserole to my nutrition tracker I searched out the recipe, but only one seemed to fit the bill. However, the flavors I tasted didn't seem to match the ingredient list. When I asked I was told that yes, that was the right recipe but she made some substitutions, and only one of them was a healthier substitution, using brown rice instead of white. So many substitutions were made that it nowhere near represented the original recipe.

Full fat cheese was used instead of low fat and the volume used was increased. Only two cups of frozen veggies were used instead of a 10 oz bag. More chicken breasts were added. A carton of cream of potato soup was used instead of the 98% fat free cream of mushroom soup. Finally, chicken bouillon packet was sprinkled over the mixture without adding any water instead of chicken broth. When I saw this and expressed my dismay I was told that I could always stick my finger down my throat.

I know, I know, I should be thankful that someone made me dinner, but why can't they respect my desire to eat more healthily? My mom says she is proud of me for my weight loss and wishes that she could do it. But on the other hand she doesn't even try to make healthy choices and wonders why I feel that need. I feel like she doesn't respect the effort it takes and the work I had to put into losing weight and changing my life. Right now she is barely even talking to me, even though we are sitting about five feet away from each other.

I know I didn't have to eat it, but I would have received another guilt trip if I had declined. I would have been happy with the original meal plan and it would have been much simpler. Now, I have no idea what I ate or how many calories I consumed. I'm so glad that I had a light lunch and breakfast today to counteract the unknown.

Am I wrong to expect that when I am told that supper was prepared using a healthy recipe that it actually be followed? Minor substitutions - sure. Major overhaul - Is it still even the same recipe? Does it count?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hope you and your mom have patched things up a bit! You're doing a great job with workouts!

    I remember reading this article before my fiance started cleaning up his eating habits, too. it might be worth a look and get some ideas flowing :)

    You're doing a great job of building healthy habits! Keep up the great work emoticon
    4176 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2702433
    I sooo understand! Just today my mom told me she is making dinner tomorrow and the fare? Homemade potato salad and hot dogs! I love my moms potato salad but.... yikes... I will have to do like I did tonight and eat light. I'm sorry your family doesn't understand... that is why I do most of the cooking in our house! Hugs.
    4177 days ago
    Having expectations is often where we go wrong. Moms are so stuck in their ways. Mine is the same. My mother-in-law is the gourmet cook and she is a lovely woman who makes ridiculously rich foods that I can barely digest for the saturated fat! And then she takes me aside to tell my her son, my husband needs a little prod where his waistline is concerned. She can't see that her cooking is a big part of the problem.

    My advice: be 100% responsible for your own meals all of the time. There are never any surprises that way. I travel with food most of the time so if I get sidelined by a meal here or there, at least I can supplement the where-the-heck-are-the-veggies issue when being fed by others. I carry cash, I case out grocery stores with good produce sections and I come prepared to fen for myself.
    4177 days ago
    I am with you. When I am home, it's not bad because I have control over what I'm making and what I'm eating. But when I go to my parents house, they don't get it at all. They do not buy many fruits or veggies and also don't get the concept that I try to eat several smaller meals instead of 3 big ones. I think its hard for people to understand who aren't themselves going through this journey. They don't mean harm, but they don't know how hard it is for us to have to be so careful what we eat and choose between a meal that's not as healthy as we'd like it to be and hurting their feelings.

    Good Luck! I hope you and your mom don't stay upset with each other too long, that's never fun.
    4178 days ago
    Since you usually do the cooking, you will be okay in the long run, this is just one meal. Sounds like your mom was trying to please you by trying to find a SP recipe. If someone is not well versed in nutrition (like we are just from all the reading we do on SP) they probably don't really understand the significance of substitutions!
    4178 days ago
    I am at a loss here. I too am the main cook in my house. My wife is on board with me, and makes SP dinners to the "T". Thanksgiving was another story as we prepared our own potatoes and substituted some things. My wife has made great strides in her journey to reach her goal. She recently told some family members what her goal weight was, and got some varied reactions mostly negative, that her goal of being 125 pounds was just too much. Do what you need to do to get there, and dont let people stand in your way.
    4178 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5715589
    I am right with you. My mom does most of the cooking in the house and I try to tell her nicely to just make more veggies. Like if shes got french fries in the fryer why not throw a bag of veggies in the microwave for me. And to not FRY everything...thats a big thing in my house. They just don't understand why I don't want anything fried anymore. I am not trying to overhaul everyones eating...although they need it just as bad...but a few subsitutions would be nice!
    4178 days ago
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