Sunday, February 21, 2010
Good Morning Sunday Sparkers!
My glucose was @ 116 this morning. I got my morning wake-up work out in...sit-ups and walking laps. Feeling a little bit sore today, glad it's an off day to rest up a bit.
Yesterday's Legs workout was good, got it in and I'm feeling it this morning. I had a really good day yesterday, and yet towards the end of the afternoon I had this weird, kind of sad emotional spot....I cried a little bit, talked with my wife and was able to put everything back in perspective. Just sometimes, even though I'm doing my best and making some progress, I get these waves of feeling hopeless or maybe just discouraged about how far I have to go...
I get it...that kind of thinking is useless and yet, it seems like I obviously have lots of backed-up emotional pain connected to my weight and to all of this change...most of it seems to come down to this deep down core belief that I can't do it....so I'm challenging that every mother funkin' day through my actions and it comes and goes much quicker...and less frequently.
This is without a doubt the hardest challenge I've ever confronted and worked at consistently in my whole life and it's also been the most rewarding time for me personally....Today I can and will do my part, I'm going to keep showing up and I'm going to keep pushing myself towards health & freedom.
When the bull$hit starts chiming in...I've been just trying to sit with it and be still, observe what feelings come, feel them and let myself calm down and get re-centered...little battles, little victories, hopefully adding up and allowing me to shift the beliefs I have about myself and continue making getting healthy the top priority.
I hope everyone has a really Smooth Sunday! Ryan