Thursday, April 15, 2010
My glucose came in @110
Super nice morning and I'm feeling strong & fairly balanced. My lower left back is a little tender...I think mostly from doing intervals up and down the stairs...sore and tender, but nothing too bad. I'm so grateful that I felt fresh and centered enough to have a "PUSH" week in spite of my back being a little tweaked. I have really connected the dots with both my meal plan and my exercise schedule this week heading into tomorrow's weigh-in.
More and more as time I goes on, I continue to realize that dropping the weight, getting healthy is not like the Lottery, it's not about Luck or about 'Being Good Enough'....right now my thoughts and feelings are that it's about no longer neglecting, abandoning or abusing myself. It's been about me getting to this place inside where not only do I want to let the weight go...but that all of the inner work has brought me to a point where I really CAN let the weight go. Subtle difference...but huge for me!
Getting honest and responsible for the mess I've been dragging around inside and being able to negotiate those inner challenges has allowed me to be consistent and disciplined following a balanced healthy meal plan & to gain strength, improve my overall fitness level...buiding on that and letting the hope and trust grow within me....that's what it seems to be about for me today. I care, finally I genuinely care...no lip service...not just saying it because I want to mean it...I really do mean it...I want to lose the weight, but today I feel like I can and it'll all be ok. I don't need to be scared or hide anymore.
I still like the idea of someday winning the lotto, but this ain't that kinda game. I'm feeling more and more centered about weigh-ins over the last month or so...just less inner pressure and I think it's because of this shift. I'm really believing inside and telling myself everyday..."It's ok to let it all go now buddy...you have nothing to fear." I think it has just taken awhile for me to feel like this journey was more than just another attempt or short rally...but it so is, so much more. Slow and steady, like a turtle...I'm changing from the inside out and so I'm just much more settled in for a long and really cool ride!
Not sure if any of this jives with you, but exploring these little revelations I get, seems to really help me stay on track and to feel better prepared heading forward as I reach for my goals.
Hope everyone has a great Thursday! Ryan