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Friday, April 16, 2010

I am in a craptastic mood. I'm obviously a very moody person. My moods dictate if or how much I want to exercise, what or how much I eat, etc. I need to break free from my "moods."

Last night I had a nightmare that Simon and I broke up, and I saw him making out with another woman in his car. I woke up feeling physically ill, I was so upset. I have very vivid, odd dreams, and unfortunately they've been more bad than good lately (wedding disasters are a main theme). I can't get that image out of my head now, and I feel like crap. I told him about it this morning and he gave me lots of hugs and "I love you"s, and I know it would never happen, but it's completely ruining my mood. I feel completely depressed. The gray skies and rain aren't helping either.

I feel like my workouts lately have been pathetic. Mainly because I keep trying to exercise outside and get driven back inside by the pollen and my asthma disagreeing on how my lungs should work. I end up burning 200 cal. or less and call it a day. NOT GOOD. I was burning 300-400 calories per workout when I was really trying. I've really gone downhill this week. Like I did on my bike yesterday. While it was fun, I only burned 164 calories in 23 min. because it was a lot of downhills. Weeeee!

All I wanna do tonight is curl up with my baby and a big pile of yummy food. I have no idea how I'm gonna last another 5 hours at work today. I want to cry every 5 minutes. And TOM is over, so I have no idea why I'm so depressed. I'm hungry and cranky and I wanna go HOME. The last thing I want to do is exercise, but I need like a 400-cal. 1 hour run on the treadmill. Simon wants to exercise tonight too. I CAN'T discourage that when it's so hard for him to get motivated.

We're going to a pizza-and-cake b-day party tomorrow (my niece's 1st!) and the last thing I should do today is eat badly. I've done that enough this week already. I just can't get my head in the game today, no matter how logically I tell myself what I need to do and why. My body is tired and hungry and my brain and heart are sad.

Just having a craptastic day.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't have much to add.. but I think you're doing amazing. A few days where you feel bad definitely wont be getting you down, 'cause I know that you'll bounce right back and achieve everything you want to. :D
    4079 days ago
    Well, I sure hope today is better for you!!

    Isn't it amazing how we live on roller-coasters? I'm always so surprised at how quickly things change for me. (And how quickly things can change back for the better!)

    Have a great weekend!!

    4079 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/17/2010 7:01:25 AM
  • no profile photo CD5347494
    You are a strong, inspiring person and will get through this. Tomorrow WILL be better! emoticon
    4079 days ago
  • BRE7482
    emoticon bad dreams are terrible. I hope you are feeling better soon. I've always had asthma, so I know what you mean about all the pollen and your lungs. I hope your day gets much much better
    4079 days ago
    I’ve done exactly the same thing with my husband. Had those dreams where he’s divorcing me, or cheating. Horrible feeling when you wake up. Then I think of that Friend’s episode where Phoebe is pissed at Ross and then realized she was dreaming it. kinda made me laugh. As for the falling off the food wagon, just climb back on when you feel like it. sometimes we just need a break.
    4079 days ago
  • no profile photo IRISH_AGUIRRE
    I'm glad you wrote about it - I hope it helped. I hate those dreams - I still have them, and my DH & I have been together almost 23 years. So, get in exercise time with him, let him cuddle you, and hopefully that will all help lift the gray. Hugs!
    4079 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2562942
    Isn't it good that you can express yourself here and not be judged? You are entitled to a craptastic day every once in awhile. We are here for you!!
    4079 days ago
    craptastic days just mean you're human. Wouldn't wanna be a creepy fleshed out robot version of yourself, right?
    Show this crappy day who's boss! Take the wind out of its sails by ignoring it:) yeah, that'll really piss it off

    Joking aside, **hugs** for ya girl. Days like this suck. But you're strong, and we all have nothing but faith that you're gonna be just fine:)
    4079 days ago
    You've come so far and I bet by tomorrow you're thinking, "I've got this" - I hate when dreams mess up my day. Just remember you love each other and probably the dreams are just because the dates getting closer. Our minds like to play tricks on us.
    4079 days ago
  • MCL423
    Everyone has 'craptastic' days, but don't give up! You've come this far and just imagine how amazing it will feel when you reach your end goal. Push through all the negative feelings and try to think of the positive. Your an amazing and inspiring person, and I know you will do amazing things.

    Just stick with it and eventually things will fall into place.

    Stay positive!


    4080 days ago
  • 62NVON
    Big HUGS to you, Sarah. I have irrational thoughts that spill over into my dreams sometimes too. I know how you feel that they can seem SO real! Just know that you have a man who adores you and needs you to be healthy and happy.

    Like SMP said, don't let this affect all the hard work you've done. You are doing SO great. You did a 5K for gosh sakes! Your mother would be so proud of you.

    We're all here for you!
    4080 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6557915

    Hang in...you are such a motivating person, and you work so hard. Give yourself a break...you deserve it. Don't let fear make you undo all your hard work. Rest, and then get back to it. I know you will. :)
    4080 days ago
    Actually, there are no issues with our relationship at ALL, I just have an overactive imagination and worrisome nature. But thanks for making assumptions.
    4080 days ago
    Don't give up! We all have days like that, weeks even. About the B-day party, FILL UP ON GOOD STUFF BEFORE YOU GO! That way even if you eat some you will be satisfied with small portions. I use this trick a lot. I always keep lots of fruit in the house and at work for just this reason.

    Sounds like you may have some issues with your relationship, maybe you should evaluate why you are having so many dreams of this kind.

    Hang in there, you can do it.

    emoticon emoticon
    4080 days ago
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