Did it again.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Well, I did it again. Allowed my own insecurities about my weight affect my thinking and behavior.
I went to Target this morning with my boys. My oldest son said he saw some friends of ours whom I hadn't seen in awhile. Later, as I passed by the makeup aisle, I saw her and her daughter from the back. My first instinct was to go over and say hi, see how she's doing. But, within the next second the thoughts started "look how great she looks (tiny little blonde)" "you're so fat, what is she going to think". By the end of it all, I just went to the check out and left.
I have to say, I'm REALLY ashamed of myself. I can't believe I am so self focused that I'd put my insecurities over another person. It's truly shaming.
I'm really tired of this whole weight issue having so much control over my life - constantly thinking about what I am or am not eating, constantly thinking about what does and doesn't fit, how I look, what others think.
I NEED to get victory over this thing - total and complete victory - and it needs to be soon!