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Tuesday Morning....

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hanging in there...

Honestly feeling pretty stressed out today and just following my routine hoping that through this process, my stress level can be reduced and I can feel more balance.

Just a bunch on my plate between all of this, family stuff, and the always present financial stressors....sometimes I just get sick of being a responsible adult, or atleast I get sick of attempting to be one. Venting it and airing that out helps me more than I always think it will, me telling the truth out loud seems to have a very neutralizing affect on the throttle in my brain. Ya know that whole 'name it, claim it, dump it' type of play...

I pretty much blew my stack yesterday morning after realizing that Cindy had lost my keys...house, vehicles etc..., in the big picture no big deal, all fixable. In the moment I was swamped with work and my reaction was far from graceful...I get all full of myself and say stupid things like.."I don't make THOSE kind of mistakes" and just end up making things so much worse when I react that way. When my inner stress ends up bleeding out on the people in this world I love the most, Cindy, My Mom, My Dad, My sisters, Annette my trainer....throughout my life I've over-reacted ALOT and it's never, ever made things better...and yet it continues to happen periodically. I think it's great that I'm someone that is willing to look at my part in things and take responsibility, I guess I think it might be even greater if I could just stop feeling that amount of inner pressure, angst and just be calm and balanced all the time in all situations, but especially with the people that love me.

Humid, big dark clouds rolling in...Storms are for me!

Got my sit-ups and walking in this morning, and I'm going to try and squeeze in some chest and arms strength training in between my work, meeting w/my accountant and the fish tank dude coming through to clean up our aquarium.

I'm gonna keep diggin' and make today the best it can be, thanks for hanging in there with me. Have a Smooth Tuesday, Ryan

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MSEVERLAST
    It is REALLY great that you are willing to look at your part in things and take responsibility - some people can't even do that.

    Also, you know what? There is not ONE person who can be calm and balanced ALL the time in ALL situations.
    4043 days ago
  • JANEYINMADTOWN
    I have enjoyed the storms today too...nice break from the hot sun over the past few days....Hope you find your keys but you are correct...it's fixable!
    4046 days ago
  • NEWLIBRARIAN
    Loved ones often get the brunt of our stress. I have regrets regularly but be honest appologise and move forward.
    Have a great day. Stroms rolled through here last evening and left wind in the wake. No damage however which is a blessing.
    4046 days ago
  • STARGLADE
    Hi, Ryan. I'm glad to make your online acquaintance by reading this blog and joining the Buddhist group. I'm about an hour's drive away from you to the east. Nice to see someone "relatively close" to me!

    Karen
    4046 days ago
  • BELUGA20
    Hey Ryan! I'm sorry you're feeling stressed. It doesn't do any one any good, and yet we do it! I watch a video of a talk some Buddhist dude gave about stress. His theory was that it came out of "anger" (which I only half believe), but then he walked about how it is our resistance to the situation and our attempts to reject it that cause us stress. He used the image of someone trying to walk a dog that doesn't want to be walked, legs stuck out and sliding across the ground. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. It doesn't really help me be less stress, but it puts it in a context that feel manageable and less chaotic.
    emoticon
    4046 days ago
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