Playin' the Cards that were dealt & WINNING...
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Hey good morning, kinda soupy out right?
Connecting the dots this morning.
I have to always remind myself that it isn't about how or what I look like, it's about how I feel...and I always feel like a WINNER when I make healthy choices and execute my plan.
It was a little tough to see myself on tv yesterday, as the news channel was running quick promo spots about the story update that is airing tonight. It's cool though, they are just quick flashes of shame that I am much better at moving through than I ever used to be. It's a little tough to feel like a mean and lean athlete on the inside and then see this huge person (me) jiggling and bouncing around.
From the beginning, this whole process of letting the news folks document me doing what I'm doing has been a real inside-out gig. This deep into it now, when I see myself and feel ambarrassed...I wonder "how is this a good thing...?"
I'm doing all of this for me, but I've heard from lots and lots of people from literally all over the country how I have inspired them...So when I get sad and feel some of that deep inner pain that I've been dragging around...it's hard to imagine what the point of having so many people watching me really is...
Ok exit stage left...
Maybe it's just ok for me to keep working on accepting myself exactly as I am and learn to trust more and more that the world is a safe place to live in and not have to hide out and isolate. And maybe it's just the simple process of sharing the truth out loud, real...transparent and vulnerable...maybe that's what people connect with and watching me trudge this path, I guess it might fire some people up to make the changes they are afraid of too.
So I'm ok, in fact I'm doing just great...playin' the cards that were dealt & Winning.
Have a good one and stay cool, Ryan