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Judge and Jury...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

So I was just reading a sparkfriend's latest blog and she was talking about how she feels when she sees other overweight people.

This had inspired some really interesting thoughts from her readers and led me to think about my own reactions.

Until I was twenty eight I was a healthy weight - not too skinny but no problem finding clothes that fit, and a healthy range BMI . I clearly recall seeing overweight people eating and thinkning 'gosh, if I were her/him, I'd never eat food like that, I'd eat nuthin but carrots until I got back to normal size'. When you don't have to make any sacrifices, it's easy to commit to making them in the future! So I don't assume that a person has totally given up just because they're having a piece of cake now.

For me it's when I hear people talking about this diet or that diet or whatever - I always think, 'geeeez, don't you know that dieting DOESN'T WORK???'

Generally though, I try really hard to be as kind to myself and to others as I can. Whenever I see an overwight person doing something healthy like walking or eating sushi instead of burgers, I inwardly cheer for them.

Though if you wear really tight stretch fabrics that show every lump and bump, I'll assume you don't have a mirror at home.

The other thing is comparing myself to other people - every woman I see, espacially ones about my height, I'm like 'am I fatter than her? Am I thinner??' It's not a competitive thing though...it's like I am trying to get an idea of how other people see me? Because to be honest, when I look in the mirror most of the time, I don't see someone whose obsese, I see a hot girl who'se carrying a few extra pounds. I wonder if I am like the no talent crazies on Idol, who insist they can sing but quite clearly can't. I mean I'm not inappropriate about it, I don't show off inappropriate amounts of flesh or anything, but I just don't feel like I look as fat as I MUST LOOK.

Like, I have a friend who is about the same weight as me, though she's 5 cm's shorter I'd say, and I think of her as being in a different category than I bodywise.

I'm interested in what you guys think about all this....
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  • no profile photo CD6096849
    Body image and how we see ourselves is a tricky thing. Even at 296 lbs I knew I was big, but I didn't know I was THAT big! I always thought I carried my weight well (if that's possible) because I have a small waist and a not so ample mid section. This is what I thought until I saw a photo of myself and didn't recognize myself. OMG, how did I let myself get that big? And I wasn't exactly sure how much I weighed since I didn't own a scale. When I got on the scale at my job, I almost cried. But I don't think I compare myself to others, I just wish I could see how others see me. But since I can't, I can only work on seeing myself the way I want to and that's smaller and comfortable in my own skin
    3871 days ago
  • MISSMITSY
    I know what you mean about looking at other people and wondering where you fit in, I do it all the time, though after seeing the pictures of myself that started me on this journey I pretty much started assuming I was bigger then all of them, probably not the greatest mind set... I do know how you feel about being the good looking girl with a little extra weight though, before I gained 40kg I thought the same about myself, I was still overweight but I didn't think I was terribly fat and horrible looking, I was happy with who I was and how I looked most of the time... TO be honest I think that's more important, it doesn't matter how others see us, it's how we see ourselves, if you're comfortable and happy with yourself then that's awesome and no one elses opinion matters!
    3872 days ago
  • ME_HERE_NOW
    body image in our head and in the mirror (and in pictures or reflections in windows) can be SO different. i have a pretty fixed image of myself at a middle weight, never saw when i got heavy, have trouble now seeing that i've lost...i used to compare myself to other ladies all the time, but now i dont anymore, which is kinda a freeing thing thats come along with sparking. keep rocking out the positive choices, and thanks for your comments and support over on my ramblins ;)
    3872 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6721736
    love this girlie...even though I don't want to, of course I inwardly still compare myself to other people. Especially since I am used to always being the chubby girl in the room, it would be so nice if I could see myself how other people do. However I do know now that I am healthy! There are alot of people out there that look like they are in great shape but don't eat healthy at all. I would rather be juicy and healthy!!
    3873 days ago
  • ARCHIMEDESII
    Maybe it's an old age thing, but I've stopped comparing myself to other people. Back in my wayward youth (LOL), I always used to fret about my looks. I did compare myself to others. I did wonder why guys chose to date my friends instead of me. Sure, I had all sorts of self doubt and to a certain extent, self loathing as a result.

    However, as I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate that I am the only ME on the planet. I've learned to appreciate all the things I can do and not worry about the cosmetics. Trying to decide who is and isn't beautiful is awfully superficial. I've become a firm believer that if a person is beautiful inside, that will reflect on the outsides. If a guy doesn't think I'm pretty enough, then that's not the guy I want to date if my looks matter more than me as a whole. I guess I've become happy in my skin.

    We're all unique. We all come in different shapes and sizes. We shouldn't try to put people into categories. We should celebrate one another for our unique qualities and talents.



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    3873 days ago
  • JS1971
    Oh my gosh, that is so funny. I wonder how many of us do this. I am totally guilty, I am constantly asking my husband "do I look like that", and he gets soooo annoyed. I look at overweight people and wonder if they are on spark people. I wish I knew some people here that were. And I totally agree with the listening to people talk about this diet and that diet. Or the other extreme, the people that tell me I look good, but they just can't do it, or they say I just don't care that I'm fat. They don't really believe that do they? I know I cared when I was overweight, I just didn't have the motivation to do anything about it. It really wasn't until I watched the movie Food Inc that I really started making changes in my life, and also Tosca Reno's book on clean eating.
    3873 days ago
  • LIBBYFITZ
    emoticon A great blog. Yes inwardly I do reflect and wonder about peoples choices in life when seeing larger people, living over here in Santiago is interesting as I am tallish at 5ft 3 inches as a lot of people here are shorter than me! When I go back to Aus I will be one of the short ones again! emoticon
    3873 days ago
  • BLAIRJ1
    Oh my godddddddddd. I could have written this. I am the exact same way, and I have even actually thought of that analogy before--am I like the no-talent wannabes that audition for American Idol that think they can sing but can't? That's too funny. I also compare myself to other people carrying the extra pounds, but not in a competitive way. I think it's because I think that I look alright, and then I see a picture and I'm like "UGGHHHH did I really look like that? I felt so much fitter/cuter!" What's up with that?! Fortunately, once we ARE fit, we won't have to think like this anymore :)

    P.S. Thank you for your advice on Jim Kidd's/sport shoes. Plans to ditch AF and aim for something cheaper and attempt to NOT be ripped off!
    3873 days ago
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