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In the muck and mire....

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Well hello there, kids! It has been a ridiculously long time since I) I've written and blog, and 2) since I've actually sat down for more than 10 minutes at a time to do SP stuff. This blog won't be terribly witty, but more of a "what the heck has Woodsy been up to?" informational pamphlet for your reading pleasure.

First let me say, that I miss being on SP terribly and as the dust settles (explanation to follow) I'll be able to get a good routine down where I can have the time to be on here more consistently. It's such an integral part of my journey and I genuinely miss talking with friends and see how everyone is doing. That being said, please know that I WILL catch up and respond to blogs and goodies. I have all of them saved in my email so just know that I'm working through them and want to give attention to them and not just do a "fly by" so to speak.

The reason for my absence is that I am now working 2 part time jobs, one in the morning, one in the afternoons, so it's full time hours, just 2 different companies. I've been working my afternoon just since Mid-June and really enjoy it. The people are great and the work I do is very interesting. Still learning all the ins and outs, but had gotten down a good routine where I could do my workouts and SP stuff and run errands in the morning, then go to work in the afternoons. Well, about a month ago (maybe less, can't quite remember) my old company called me to see if I was looking for work. Originally it was an on-call position, then a part-time position. The person who replaced me when I left at the end of 2008 had just left, so it became a full-time position. I was hesitant to go that route for a few reasons, one being that I really enjoy my afternoon job, and two, I knew enough about my old company to know that I didn't think I'd want full-time again, as there was a lot of "stuff" to put up with. Now the people in my particular clinic are all different from when I was there previously, and they seem like a super great group to work with. Corporate, on the other hand, is still very much the way it was where lack of communication was the biggest issue for me. So, long story short, I said no to the full-time, and I think they were rather stunned. I was then offered the on-call position again, with the understanding that I work as much as possible until they could fill that with a full-timer. As I've just completed my first week there, I do believe the assumption was that I'd be so thrilled with being back, that the full-time position would be mine without hesitation (I say this because I was told many many times how great it would be if I took the full-time position since I'm a natural fit and I was "destined" to be back). Some manipulation was occuring that I sensed from the get-go, so as gently but as firmly as I could, I made it clear that these are the hours I said I could help and that's all I'm going to do, as I'm not leaving my other job. Of course, the conversations I'd had with corporate did not get told to the clinic as I was told they would, so I think other people were led to believe that I'd be all onboard for going the full-time route, as well. And corporate also said they'd be as flexible as I needed with my schedule, which also did not carry down to the clinic, so there was all kinds of confusion. Not surprising, as this was always the case, but still annoying and cause for taking many deep breaths to calm my jangled nerves. Sigh.....

A victory that came from this though is that I stuck to my guns and did not allow myself to be talked into anything, as I would have a couple of years ago. I would have been in full "people-pleasing" mode and would have felt trapped into doing what was expected of me, and not following my heart. Well, this time, I prayed about it and listened to what God was making very clear to me....work both jobs and that's it. The positive of that is I don't have to deal with the typical office politics of either place as I'm only there half the day at either place! There is real freedom in that, and I like being able to just put in my time, do my best while I'm there, but then leave it behind when I walk out the door. The part that is a little rough right now is learning two jobs at one time. LOL!! I work on a Windows system in the morning, then go to a Mac system (which I've never worked with before) in the afternoon, and considering I'm not terribly computer savvy at all, it's made for many blank stares and many mutterings of "where the heck is the darn "x" to close out?!?!?!" emoticon The old job has had many changes since I was there and they are extremely strict with how you do things (such as how you answer the phone...they do "mystery shopping" and pretend to be patients to see how you answer questions). Yeah, I know...irritating.

I managed the first week with getting up 2 1/2 hours earlier than I'm used to in order to walk Finnegan for a short walk in the morning and get ready for work. I knew that first week would be rough as I had no idea what a new schedule would look and feel like. I leave the 1st job at noon, come home to let the dog out, then leave for the 2nd job and get home after 4pm. My exercise minutes suffered greatly, but I was prepared for that and allowed myself to just ride the wave as I just plodded through the week. I didn't allow guilt to settle in, but I could definitely tell my mood was affected and felt "blah". A positive (heaven knows I always try to find one, so I don't lose my mind) is that I slept like a log for 4 days straight! I went to bed at a good time and got solid rest, which was a blessing for me.

Oh yes, the additional reason for trying to work on my own routine is during the week we have a houseguest who stays with us. It's a co-worker/friend of my husband's who stays here during the week as he lives 2 hours from home and used to carpool with a family member to and from work, but that family member has since been let go with the rash of firings the company has been doing. So until this guy can find a job closer to home, he's staying with us anywhere from 2-4 days a week. That has been a huge adjustment for me, but I'm handling it better than I would have a couple of years ago (notice a pattern with my coping abilities from pre-SP days?) One thing I'll say for the guy is he loves to cook and is always willing to share cooking duties and will buy different meats to help out (I was rather stunned about that I must say). So it's been an adjustment, and I'm still working out how to detach from all that and still work on me. I don't have the same freedoms (read: must wear a bra at all times... emoticon), but have to work on not feeling obligated to play hostess and just go about my business. That's where my struggle is right now, and I have to firmly plant myself in the front of the line and do what I need to do in order to be successful with my weight loss journey and not allow anything to get in the way of that...including my own excuses.

So that's where I'm at right now: a fork in the road with different paths as options and trying to determine which one is best for me at this given time. I may need to get up an additional 30 minutes earlier than I am now in order to get a longer workout in, as well as walking the dog. And then I have to plan for evening workouts, and another walk for the dog (he's been feeling a bit put out by momma being gone and him not being the center of attention). Ever have a dog say "talk to the paw", hold said paw up, and turn his head away from you when you try to hug him? The nerve. Hmphf!

Any suggestions for meal planning (I swear I have zero ideas in my head because it's all filled with work stuff, home stuff, holidays--we do Thanksgiving, etc) and exercise planning would be appreciated. The past 2 years have been some of the hardest we've ever been through, and I feel like we are just now getting back on our feet and starting anew, but it's taken its toll mentally and emotionally. Having a routine will be good, because I do very very well when things are written out. I just know that it's hard in the beginning to not feel anxiety over change, even when it's a good change. Thanks for listening to my long, drawn out recap of life in recent weeks. I promise my next blog will be filled with much knee-slapping hilarity (at least I'll attempt to be funny) and not nearly as lengthy (again, "try" is the word here). emoticon

Toodles noodles!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have missed your blogs, friend. Way to stick up for yourself.
    3867 days ago
  • BERGIE8771
    Glad to set down a spell and get caught up! Life never stays the same, even tho some of us would like it to.

    I am proud of you for sticking to your guns and keeping the two part time jobs. I like variety in my work, and less politics. At one time I had 7 jobs (at once) variety is the spice. One full-time job and 6 part times (3 them on call, 3 with set schedules). I was single at the time and lovin' life. Then I married and ugh, settled down to my current 2 jobs.

    Keep on fitting that exercise in. You can get all the balls in the air as you juggle with your new schedule.
    3877 days ago
    We have missed you too. But I completely understand, since I have been guilty of the same. Life just tends to take over sometimes. Just remember a year ago today you would have loved to have either of the jobs. So that is excellent. You are now a wanted woman.

    Corporate always sucks. They never do what they are told or what they say they are going to do. It is so frustrating to read and see the communications breakdowns within a company. Great job standing up for yourself. That is the Woodsy we all love. Taking no #$%^ from anyone.

    Yeah,….you gotta keep Wilma and Betty in control while said guest is there. It took Finnegan months to get used to those two characters. LOL!!!You are handling the “guest” better than my wife would. She would ALWAYS play hostess, regardless of the closeness or how long the person is staying. Heck she plays hostess with me and the kids sometimes. Very annoying.

    Now for routines.
    Get yourself an nice set of tuppeware containers. Small ones for veggies, grapes, carrots, baby tomatoes, etc… pack three of four small snacks for every day. Then pack two slices of bread and your choices of meat. Keep the selection varied to make it fun. If you have not tried it yet, give Arnold bread a shot. Because it is freaking delicious!!

    . You get home around 4:30. take finn for a nice walk when you get home, using that time for exercise. 30 minutes to an hour is not going to alter your world much.

    If you have time in the evening, try to fit in some wall squats, pushups (or Wilma and betty crunches…), leg raises, etc…small exercises in the evening, that will NOT build up a sweat, but get the heart pumping and the blood flowing to the targeted muscles.

    Try to do small things right now as you adjust to this new schedule. It is amazing how good of a workout we can get in 10 to 15 minutes.

    Remember though, what we eat is the #1 weapon for losing weight. Exercise just makes it that much easier. So keep focused on eating good.

    Love you Shannon. We miss you, but 100% understand the need to be away right now. Things will settle down and we will get to read your wonderful smiles again.

    Oh... did you read what Silver eats for a snack? Mini baby???? That is one sick primate.
    3880 days ago
    Shannon, hang in there. You are doing an amazing job with everything right now. Glad to see you are back on Sparkpeople for a while. Not many people could hold two jobs, have a houseguest, and still keep it together. congratulations you are doing great. Don't let anything get in your way, you can do it.
    3880 days ago
    Good to see you!! I wish I had some ideas and advice for you... but I haven't been able to plan a single day for the past two months. My life is out of whack (but getting back on track in the near future). Like you, I've been MIA from Spark and I miss my Spark friends dearly.

    It sounds like things are going great for you though... yes, I noticed all of the new coping post-Spark. Isn't it amazing what a little confidence and self respect (and knowledge of distant friends) can do for a person? I'm so glad you still have all of this and are able to see it in your daily life even when you aren't able to check in here regularly. That is awesome... and show truly how far you've come.

    Way to go!!
    3880 days ago
  • HUGS2015
    I'm glad that the 2 pt jobs gigs are working for you! Yay you for sticking with the agreed arrangement of part time only. I can see the advantage of only working half day there and moving on.
    I'll look through my crockpot meal recipe selection to see if I have some recipes to share. I love the crockpot in the winter time and since you don't have much time to cook that might just be the ticket for you to have a hot meal on the table in the evening after work with minimal prep time.
    Sounds like you are getting everthing lined out! You are doing GREAT! Big Hugs!
    3881 days ago
    I came here to read abt the real you. I don't want knee slapping hilarity unless you're there in your life. I had a chance to read your goals, & noticed we will be getting there abt the same time next yr. I just need someone to keep me on the straight & narrow day in, & day out. I get that here w/my spark sisters. Spark on sister. Spark on.

    PS Sparks has helped me in a ton of "stuff", too.
    3881 days ago
    That is exhausting to read, I can't imagine living it. I say if you can stay out of office politics/bureaucracy by working 2 PT jobs, do it. Nothing will suck the life out of your quicker that the BS that goes on in the office. The pup is feelin' all neglected. LOL

    For meals, I like to stew down a big value pack of chicken or as I call 'em "a big @ss roast" and have it on hand in the fridge (or freeze some) for quesadillas, salads, mini pizzas, sandwiches, etc. We're in roast mode the past 2 days and we'll get about 4-6 meals out of it. Last night roast & taters. Tonight roast w/BBQ sauce on Naan bread like a pizza. Tomorrow a sandwich for lunch and wrap for dinner. I plan my exercise a month in advance so it's like an appointment and takes the thinking out of it. I don't know if that helped or not!
    3881 days ago
    You have a lot on your plate and if you ask me you are handling it pretty well. I hope things get easier for you and in turn we get so hear from you more often. I miss having you around.
    Big hugs
    3881 days ago
    I miss you but the Fly by is good just so we know your still with us..

    You are doing amazing and I know once you get into a routine you will do just amazing job at both jobs.

    3881 days ago
  • BRENDAF761
    You are a busy lady right now! Change is never easy, but you'll get in a routine that works best for you. Keep determined to just do the best you can to eat healthy and get in exercise. Best wishes for continued success! Take care-Brenda emoticon emoticon
    3881 days ago

    We certainly miss seeing you around here as much as you used to, but happier to see you are busy working and it is a reasonably good arrangement for you. As for meal planning ... being a creature of habit I'm often just oatmeal in the morning, chicken and tomato sandwich for lunch, apple and mini babybel cheese for snacks and chicken and salad for supper. Surprising how many meals I can eat the same thing sometimes.
    3882 days ago
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