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CINNAMONGURL06

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To my Spark friends...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

As reflected in my status today, I made a hard decision last night to take a hiatus from Spark through January 2011. I have been so overwhelmed with daily life and the changes that I have been trying to make both mentally and physically since I got serious about changing my body and life back in May of this year that keeping up with Spark lately has made me feel a lot of extra pressure.

Let me clarify and say that all my friends and the passers by that have dropped in on my page have been nothing but supportive and loving, so this isn't anything personal. I have just reached a point in my journey where I need to stand alone for a short while and ready myself for the next phase of things. I have been stabbing at this for months and certain things have come into focus but others are still a bit fuzzy- the one thing that has not changed is my desire to transform into the best version of myself both physically and mentally. I've realized that a part of this process is the ability to stand alone, to be comfortable with just yourself. Maybe for some people this comes easy but for me it never has. I am a social person by nature but as you all know from following my saga through my blogs I am also a recovering co-dependent. This is something I just have to do and I have to do it alone for a little while until it doesn't feel as strange. I need to find the approval for myself within myself- because I feel that I rely too heavily on what others think or what others say or don't say and I no longer want to be easily knocked down.

I guess that about covers where I am at the moment. I just didn't want everyone to think that I am vanishing indefinetely or that I have abandoned my goals or this community of support- I am merely diverging off the beaten path for a short while to reach a new level of self discovery.

Know that I will be thinking of all of you and sending good vibes your way. I will drop in when I can- incase I don't get around to everyone at the appropriate time I want to take this opportunity now to wish everyone and their loved ones a safe and joyous holiday season- now through the new year and express just how much of a gift each of you are in my life, in this journey- each one of you is precious and I am so thankful to have found this site and made so many wonderful connections.

We have not reached the end of our journey together, we are taking separate roads at the moment but will meet up down the path in awhile. Hugs to all, Cinn
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KARBRUCE
    Totally understand- You gotta do what is right for you. take care and stay strong- you CAN do it!
    3817 days ago
  • CHANGE_4_ME
    Been there and completely understand so I wish you the best. We''l be anxously awaiting your return. Happy Thanksgiving- Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
    3818 days ago
  • JUDITHBEAST
    We understand that you must do what is best for you. We hope to see you back on here soon. emoticon
    3818 days ago
  • YAMINOKODOMO
    You have to do what you have to do and if you know this is going to help you with your journey then you have my support
    %100! Spark CAN get a little overwhelming soemetimes and you do have to take a step back. I have done that. One of the things I have stopped doing is tracking my food, I know a lot of people would gasp if I told them that lol but you know it was taking up WAY too much of my time to track but tracking my food for so long helped me learn how much of something I can eat and so once I stopped tracking I still did fine! So even though I dont track any more, tracking all that time before has helped me, as you say, stand alone and know that I can do this without cruches.

    Good luck to you and everything you do. I hope this extra time you will have during your day will help you get what you need to get done, enjoy time with your daughter, and enjoy time with yourself!
    3818 days ago
  • JRIMM4
    Hiatus' are important, even from the positive things in our life sometimes. You'll be missed but I know too that you will be engaging and LIVING your life - which is what it's all about, right?!
    Have a wonderful Holiday Season and we will see you again!

    JR
    3818 days ago
  • XHOOSIERLOSER
    It is all about growth and change and making it happen. You can do this, and I wish you the best! Happy holidays to you and yours!
    3818 days ago
  • HEALTHYCOCONUT
    I'm glad that you are putting yourself first. Take all the time you need and when things fall into place we will be here for you. I will miss you of course, but completely understand. I'll be thinking of you and your beautiful daughter and I wish you both a wonderful holiday season and a healthy, happy New Year!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3818 days ago
  • LAURELSPARK
    You need to do what is good for you. Take care and remember that SP is here when/if you need it.

    emoticon
    3818 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/23/2010 10:16:57 AM
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