To my Spark friends...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
As reflected in my status today, I made a hard decision last night to take a hiatus from Spark through January 2011. I have been so overwhelmed with daily life and the changes that I have been trying to make both mentally and physically since I got serious about changing my body and life back in May of this year that keeping up with Spark lately has made me feel a lot of extra pressure.
Let me clarify and say that all my friends and the passers by that have dropped in on my page have been nothing but supportive and loving, so this isn't anything personal. I have just reached a point in my journey where I need to stand alone for a short while and ready myself for the next phase of things. I have been stabbing at this for months and certain things have come into focus but others are still a bit fuzzy- the one thing that has not changed is my desire to transform into the best version of myself both physically and mentally. I've realized that a part of this process is the ability to stand alone, to be comfortable with just yourself. Maybe for some people this comes easy but for me it never has. I am a social person by nature but as you all know from following my saga through my blogs I am also a recovering co-dependent. This is something I just have to do and I have to do it alone for a little while until it doesn't feel as strange. I need to find the approval for myself within myself- because I feel that I rely too heavily on what others think or what others say or don't say and I no longer want to be easily knocked down.
I guess that about covers where I am at the moment. I just didn't want everyone to think that I am vanishing indefinetely or that I have abandoned my goals or this community of support- I am merely diverging off the beaten path for a short while to reach a new level of self discovery.
Know that I will be thinking of all of you and sending good vibes your way. I will drop in when I can- incase I don't get around to everyone at the appropriate time I want to take this opportunity now to wish everyone and their loved ones a safe and joyous holiday season- now through the new year and express just how much of a gift each of you are in my life, in this journey- each one of you is precious and I am so thankful to have found this site and made so many wonderful connections.
We have not reached the end of our journey together, we are taking separate roads at the moment but will meet up down the path in awhile. Hugs to all, Cinn