Jan 14, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
As I sit here in pain from a "workout" I did yesterday I just can't help but think about the past. Not even the recent past, like 10-14 years ago, past.
I grew up in a small town. I still live here and it's stll small. I had mostly the same friends all through school, and from the time we were allowed to we would ride our bikes to each others houses. Doesn't seem like anything spectacular, until I mention that I was the only one on the East side of town, so I lived 5-6 miles away from all my friends. So every day I would ride my bike across town to my friends homes. This was before cell phones, so if we needed to ask my parents a question, we would ride back to my house, then back where ever we wanted to go. Running down the beach, tromping through the woods, litterally RUNNING up flights of stairs. We swam, one of my best friends had a tampoline, most of us had dogs to walk, and even teenagers like to play on the tire swings. Not to mention all the walking we would do "hanging out" at K-Mart. I graduated at 135 pounds and was a size 6.
Now, on the other hand, I'm almost 30. 28 3/4 to be exact. I'm a busy person. I'm a divorced mother of 3, I'm working hard to start my own business from home. Untill recently I worked full time AND did an apprinticeship for cosmetology. I have 3 dogs and a home to care for and my boyfriend who needs my attention too. We go to church, have school activities, visit friends and work to get Ryan's business off the ground as well. As of last week, I weighed 198 and wear a size 16.
It's called life. Somehow I wasn't paying much attention and life took over. I didn't make a conscience effort to guide it. Like I said, I used to ride my bike, litterally MILES a day, now I'm Super sore from a 10 min dance routine from a video! I allowed my decisons to lead me to being overweight and severly out of shape.
I worked with a home business at one point and the leader always said, "We are, and we do, what we choose" That is SO true! We are the culmination of all the choices that we have made up to this point in our life. The more consistant your choices, the greater the outcome. I chose consistantly, to drive, instead of bike. I chose, to have icecream AND cake over and apple. I chose to sit in front of the tv, instead of take walks with the kids.
But now, I've noticed.
Now there is a realization.
I'm not this way because someone did this to me. I CHOSE to be this way, and now, I can CHOOSE NOT to be! I can now sit up, pay attention, and make those choices that lead down the road I want to go. It wil be a journey, and it won't be an easy one. But it's MY journey, it's MY outcome, and it's MY choices and decisions that will get me there.
What do you choose?