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What a week (warning: tears involved)

Friday, January 21, 2011

OK, so I didn't put a fitness plan in here for the week. Maybe in my heart/head I knew I wouldn't be able to stick to it 100%. This has been a crazy week.

My long run on Saturday was AWFUL. I mean AWFUL. I just couldn't keep pace... My friend and running group coach Ashley looked back at me and said, "Pick up your feet." That made a little light bulb go off in my head. I don't run, I shuffle. The closer I keep my feet to the ground, the less pain on impact in my leg/hip. But my leg and hip are better now. So, on Monday when I went out to run, I focused on that one thing - picking up my feet. What a difference! I was less tired after 4 miles than usual, and my pace was 1:30 per mile faster than normal.

Unfortunately that was the only run I was able to fit into my schedule this week, because it all got kind of surreal from there. I did the elliptical on Tuesday, and was set to run with the group on Wednesday but my husband did not get off work until 7:30 and I couldn't find a last minute babysitter (my mother in law is my usual babysitter, but she fell and is currently disabled and unable to watch the kids).

After my husband got off work, he called and said he was going over to visit his friend Dave, who has a brain tumor called a glioblastoma. My husband is a nurse, and over the past 4 weeks, Dave had really spiraled downhill to the point where he couldn't meet his own basic needs (showering, using the restroom, etc). So, my husband has been over at Dave's mom's house helping daily since the day after Christmas. Trust me, I am NOT complaining at all about this - I know Dave's mom needed lots of help because she is a little lady and elderly and couldn't help Dave at all when lifting was required. My husband is a large man, and has a lot of experience with cancer patients/hospice type care. So, I have never been a b*&%h about him working all day and then staying at Dave's for 4-5 hours at a time. He has been friends with Dave for about 40 years....

Anyway, he came home around 10:00 and said that Dave fell a couple times and his mom found him face down in a heating grate (eww). For some reason Dave kept thinking he needed to get out of the bed but is too weak to support himself. The brain tumor apparently was taking over his entire brain.

So, I didn't run Wednesday (write it off as extra healing time for my stress fracture, right?).

Anyway it was supposed to snow, so I set my alarm for 5:00 to check the school closings for my school and my child's school. Saw both schools scroll across the screen, turned the TV off, back to sleep - no school (OK, posted to Facebook first, lol). At 5:45, my husband's alarm went off, and at around 5:47 the phone rang. Thinking it was my school's auto dialer telling me I didn't have to work, I answered it with a cheery hello! It was one of Robert's friends, and he was crying. Dave had been throwing up all night, and they couldn't find a blood pressure and he had a thready pulse. So, Robert hung up the phone, IMMEDIATELY jumped out of bed (and when I say immediately, I mean it. I usually have to push him out of bed because his constant pushing the snooze button wakes me up...) and called in to work. He called Dave's mom and said I'm on my way over and then he left. Well, Dave's mom had called 911 and they were on their way, but Robert talked her into just having them leave. She was hoping they could get him into the hospital's hospice beds. Robert knew he wouldn't be alive much longer, but didn't want to tell her that, so he just said, "Why don't we just wait this one out? Why don't you go over there and sit with Dave."

A couple other good friends arrived (Jimmy and Tom), and Dave's brother. Dave had people who loved him there when he took his final breath. He died at 6:20 a.m. on January 20, 2011.

Robert called me and I called a few of our friends, and they called a few more of the group. We all gathered at lunchtime at a bar in Delhi called "Hot Wings" because Dave was a partier and loved that place. Dave's brother and mom came in for lunch after the funeral home to eat and hang out with us. I gave his mom a big hug, and she said to me, " I want to thank you for giving up your husband for the past 4 weeks. He was so helpful to me, and I couldn't have taken care of Dave without him." I have never been more proud of him in my whole life!

So, that's where the second day of no exercise comes from. And that's OK.

I do plan on riding my bike today and doing my long run tomorrow (it's a step back week so it's a shorter one). Dave's funeral is next Saturday, so I'm going to do my long run after school on Friday.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh Molly, my heart goes out to you, your husband and Dave's family. What a sad story but I'm glad your husband was able to be there so much in Dave's final weeks. I'm sure that'll be something he'll always look back and be greatful for.

    3763 days ago
    God bless you and your husband, Molly, for being such a help to Dave and his family during his final days. These kinds of events sure put things in perspective for us.

    Here's hoping that you and yours have a great weekend.
    3763 days ago
    You know, I'm sure this meant the world to your husband. He was there for his friend and you supported him. Even if things are crazy right now and he needs time to grief, he knows in his heart of hearts that you got his back when he needed you.
    I am so sorry about the loss- I hate to see people suffer and cancer is just aweful-- and frightening- ugh.

    Maybe he find peace!

    Glad to hear that you feel better about focusing on your form.

    3764 days ago
    I'm so sorry for all that your dh and family has had to go through. We, sadly, have several family members batteling right now. My prayers for his family. emoticon
    3764 days ago
    What a tough week Molly - but it's good that Dave is at peace now. I watched my jazz professor take his last breaths and as hard as it was to see, I felt so much better afterward knowing that I had been there and that he was no longer in pain. I'll be thinking about you and your husband and Dave's mom as you go through these next few days.
    3764 days ago
    Molly, I am so sorry to hear about this. Cancer is awful. It's wonderful that your husband was such a help to his friend and his friend's mom. And don't think for a minute that you were not a help as well, holding down the fort while your husband was over there. My best friend's husband died of cancer last summer and the most awful frustrating thing was not being able to do anything to help her (I live in FL and she's in NJ). So it's wonderful that your husband and his friends could be with Dave in his final hours.

    3764 days ago
    Sorry for your husband...hopefully things will calm down for ya and you can get back to running.
    3764 days ago
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