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In this case the bully won

Sunday, February 27, 2011

It’s Sunday afternoon Febuary 27th . I got up this morning feeling very similar feelings I felt in high school. I’m still dealing with struggles and challenges of harassment that started at a very age. I was teased,tormented, and harassment because of my weight. I thought I found the solution to the problem by adapting to a healthy active lifestyle. I made my inner beauty match my outer beauty to better my life. It’s been 7 years and somehow I’m still facing the same challenges. I walked out of my job today. It’s been a few hours and I’m still wearing my uniform. It’s strange because I always take off my uniform as soon as I get in the house. I can’t bring myself to change because, Im disappointed in myself for being so weak. It’s the last time I’ll be wearing this uniform and I’m sad. I just quit a job that I really enjoyed. I’ve been there for 11 months. I wasn’t planning on having a lifelong career with this company but this was a really good fit for me. Everyone was polite and nice to eachother. It was really going along so well. I celebrate living well everyday so I was thrilled to be apart of this company. That all changed in January. People magazine came out and I got to see first hand what a green eye monster looks. I was bullied for being the “fat girl”. I was jealous of pretty girls but there was nobody jealous of me. I thought my co workers would be happy for me. A once in a lifetime kind of chance. I’ve never had any problems at work. I don’t get involved in any of the gossip, I don’t hang out with coworkers. I was just there to do my job. I was so happy and exciting with emotion being on tv and in the magazine. Everyone around me was sending me so many well wishes and congradulations. The atmosphere at work started to change. Co workers were jealous of me. Comments like “you’re a nobody get over yourself” “Your fifthteen minutes of fame is up” Screaming in my face “I don’t want to hear about your life, nobody cares about you “Oh miss celebritiy thinks she’s something can’t scrape a plate now can she”. This doesn’t even scratch the surface of the additional comments I received. The team was ganging up on me. One day about 80% of the servers made a really rude/cruel comment to me. I even had a point with one of my managers change. I had a really good relationship with her. We could chat and she got really excited for me about People magazine. I really needed help getting my shifts covered to be on the Today Show. It was like a major dilemma. I couldn’t believe there weren’t more understand of this wonderful dream I was living. My manger was not speaking to me. Literally not even making eye contact with me. I started becoming increasingly more uncomfortable at work. I tried the kill em with kindess routine. I did the just let it go and be the better person. I tried and tried until now. The rumors are increasing. The newest one is that I’m sleeping with a co worker. I really wonder how they create these rumors when I’ve never seen or talked to that person outside of work. I don’t understand why they wont just leave me alone. I notified all the managers as soon as it started. I said I don’t want to make any big issues I’m hoping this will blow over. Well it didn’t and today my manger couldn’t find time for me to talk about it. If it 45 minutes till the restaurant was open she couldn’t spare a moment. She can see I’m starting to choke up and tear up as I’m trying to relay this problem I’m having. She just blows me off. I got my coat and quietly exited the building. The last 2 months, everytime I get out of my car and approach the building I get a sick feeling in my stomach. The exact same sick feeling I had when I was 240lbs. Walking in waiting to get picked on and just having to take it. I definitely needed the job and wanted the job. There goes my insurance and cell phone discount. I’m a strong person but I’m not strong enough to work in an environment where the whole staff that’s against me. One of the things I learned is that money will never mean more then RESPECT to me!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LADYVIXON
    also one more thing normal sized people just don't understand the work it takes you have every right to be proud about what you accomplished it not just about losing weight its about owning your life and changing into the person you want to be
    for the first 6 months after my weight loss i started every sentence out with ''OMG I LOST 130 POUNDS'' emoticon
    3614 days ago
  • LADYVIXON
    this makes me so sad it's like looking in a mirror
    i went threw the same thing i thought if i lost weight no one will bully me anymore not the case
    i got bullied worse after my weight loss and im still trying to get out of the victom frame of mind its so hard not to feel bad about yourself when ppl especially girls reject you and make fun of you
    its hard not to get upset and take it personally but it really isn't about you it's about them
    you showed tremendous inner strength and lost all this weight and blossomed into a beautiful woman and they are just jealous because they dont have enough determination to lose the 10lbs they want to lose it's prolly for the best you quit your job now you can put yourself in a healthier positive more supportive environment
    BIG HUG


    Allison
    emoticon
    3614 days ago
  • SDJOLLY
    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this kind of a situation. You certainly do not deserve this treatment. They are such small minded people to react this way. You worked extremely hard and for the opportunity to come along to be in People and on the Today show doesn't just happen every day.

    I know something better will come along for you. emoticon
    3732 days ago
  • GARDENCHRIS
    I AM so SORRY this has happened to you! This is a very hostile environment, I would be talking to an attorney! The MANAGER is responsible to make sure this stuff does not happen. I would also be going to the unemployment office.

    you deserve to be treated with respect, It just goes to show what SMALL minds people have. Instead of being happy for you, they have to rain on your parade. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3732 days ago
  • RAINBOWCHOC
    that is awful!
    so sorry you had such a bad time
    sending hugs immediately
    emoticon emoticon
    3732 days ago
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