We shall call yesterday (7/12/11) my one-month Spark*versary. Yes, I've been a member since 2009, and I've even sporadically used the site between the time I signed up and 6/12/11. However, in June, after having used and researched several other (free) weight-loss websites, I returned to Spark*people, committed and motivated - and desperate to achieve some quantifiable results.
And in this first month, I have continued to grow, personally, at an astronomical rate! I have discovered the beginnings of a decent and reasonable self-image. I have learned to not be allergic to sweating. I have pushed myself in physical, emotional and academic pursuits. I have stopped using knee and lung problems as excuses.
Topping the ranks in importance, though, I have learned that I still have SO MUCH to learn.
I still struggle with disordered (emotional, stress-related, caloric-restrictive, and utterly unchecked) eating. I still allow myself to not track entire days worth of food, if I feel I have in some way failed at my diet/nutrition goals. I'm still uncomfortable in shorts and swimsuits. I'm still harshly critical of my flaws. I still have a long - LONG - way to go in order to get where I want to be.
The quantitative stuff - the numbers on scales, tape measures, and clothing tags - is becoming distinctly less important as I come to understand (and remind myself of this understanding) that my ultimate goal is health, up to and including, healthy relationships - with my food, with my body, with my family, with myself.
Exercise and nutrition must necessarily be part of that equation. And oh, so slowly, I am learning to navigate the web of diet and exercise, work and family, self and others.
One month down - a lifetime yet to go!
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." ~ Lao Tzu