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Saturday 7/23/2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Going through an incredibly painful transition. After 10 years of doing everything I could and giving up my own life to help someone get and stay sober and have a balanced life...I finally have had enough. I have lots of things to work out...filing restraining order and all that stuff, clearing my house out, getting my bases covered with my company, my other job and get back into a healthy routine and with the help of my family and friends...I'll get stronger and stronger each day.

It's completely baffling for me to try and understand how I could have ended up here, almost 40 years old, strong & smart...but being abused for years has really warped my thinking and decision making.

I'm here and I'm rebuilding,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IMJUSTFLUFFY
    You will be in my thoughts & prayers.
    I'm so sorry for your troubles.
    Rhonda
    3620 days ago
  • STEPHLOKI
    Hi Rhyan,

    Here is a big hugs and a thumbs up for you: emoticon emoticon emoticon

    You have done the most important step to get control of your life again!

    I remember the feeling of being totally baffled of having failed and having wasted my life and wondering how I could allow that, when slowly emerging from the abusive marriage I had been caught up in. And that was only for 5 years and then 2 years during the divorce. So how much more will you feel this after 10 years.
    Try not to look behind too much focus on what is ahead of you. And never forget the tremendous accomplishment in your life: You have lost all that weight adn are almost on goal!

    You are one special guy and you are a winner!

    Steph
    3621 days ago
  • CAROLANN27
    Dear Ryan,

    It takes a terrific amount of strength to make a decision like you did. In the end we all must take responsibility for ourselves and no matter how much we want to help someone else, the desire for change has to come from the person him- or herself. You can't do it for them.

    I loved what SJWKAECAET said about what a person might discover about himself. Even though the decision might have been (and continues to be) difficult, it must also be freeing.

    I pray for your ability to live in the moment and focus on your long term goals, as you said in your status today.

    Please remember how many Spark Friends you have who want to help share the burden, give you strength and see you progress on your journey of personal growth. You are a terrific guy and I hope for your happiness and contentment!

    Affectionately,


    Carol
    3621 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/23/2011 11:00:25 PM
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    There are many of us here in SparkLand who read this with mixed feelings, sorry for your troubles, and yet happy for you that you are still here and that you are rebuilding. We hope to see more of you in the future and read about more of your successes on your journey to better health.

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    3622 days ago
  • MASRITE
    Sorry to hear about your troubles. Stay strong! We're all here for you.
    3622 days ago
  • SRHALLIN
    You're stepping up to the plate and really taking a hard look at how you're life has been lived up until now. Some times we make tremendous sacrifices for others, and do not get 'reimbursed' for them.

    But, we can become more well-educated about ourselves and others, if we spend time really looking at that time and how it was spent. We often learn the most surprising things. Things like:

    - We are stronger than we realize.
    - We are more generous than many.
    - We are capable of loving unconditionally.
    - We are wiser for the good and the bad experiences.
    - We are able to move forward, albeit, sometimes slowly.
    - The sun actually will come up tomorrow...

    Be strong - in heart and in spirit. Your body will follow, as long as you keep focused on your goals and your dreams.

    Best wishes to you on your journey to good health and personal happiness. You *do* deserve both.
    3622 days ago
  • BAM0827
    A blog post that deserves an "I'm sorry to read this" and a Congrats all at the same time! It takes courage to say I'm moving on because I deserve better, I am worth it!

    How exciting to look towards a future of health and happiness!
    3622 days ago
  • JSTCHLIN
    I always here for you buddy. Stay strong.
    3622 days ago
  • JANEYINMADTOWN
    You will be in my thoughts Ryan....
    3622 days ago
  • no profile photo BIGDOG18
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    3622 days ago
  • JOHNMARTINMILES
    Day by day in every way, you will get stronger and stronger

    Paraphrased from Emile Coue'
    3622 days ago
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