Lost (Warning- not an inspirational or happy blog)
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I rarely blog but here it is. I fell off the wagon and can't find my way back. All of my motivation is GONE.
After being stuck in the same weight 161-158 since April, I gave up. Now that I am writing this I recognize this was me last night. I gave up.
I have been on this journey since last year and have lost 38lbs. That is a long time to lose such a little amount of weight. Am I lazy? No. I worked out like a fiend at the gym. Tried all sorts of things to shake it off. Added strength training, did Jillian's Ripped in 30 for 2 weeks straight- NO CHANGE. Not in measurements, or weight. Dropped some exercise, gave myself a break. Added more to shake things up more. NOTHING changes.
I am exhausted. I am tired of trying to lose weight and not seeing any results. It feels like a second job without the paycheck. I find myself dreading the gym now. I have stopped going most days. Last night I dragged myself to my zumba class which I love. I was too tired. Walked out halfway through. Went to the grocery store in the same shopping strip and purchased 3 frozen pizzas (single serving) a dozen mini cupcakes and proceeded to inhale all of it.
I see a lot of people drop weight in Spark like there is no tomorrow- quickly reach their goals and while I am happy for them and their achievements wonder what do they know that I don't know?
Should I go to the gym today? Should I track my food? What is the point?