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Lost (Warning- not an inspirational or happy blog)

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I rarely blog but here it is. I fell off the wagon and can't find my way back. All of my motivation is GONE.

After being stuck in the same weight 161-158 since April, I gave up. Now that I am writing this I recognize this was me last night. I gave up.

I have been on this journey since last year and have lost 38lbs. That is a long time to lose such a little amount of weight. Am I lazy? No. I worked out like a fiend at the gym. Tried all sorts of things to shake it off. Added strength training, did Jillian's Ripped in 30 for 2 weeks straight- NO CHANGE. Not in measurements, or weight. Dropped some exercise, gave myself a break. Added more to shake things up more. NOTHING changes.

I am exhausted. I am tired of trying to lose weight and not seeing any results. It feels like a second job without the paycheck. I find myself dreading the gym now. I have stopped going most days. Last night I dragged myself to my zumba class which I love. I was too tired. Walked out halfway through. Went to the grocery store in the same shopping strip and purchased 3 frozen pizzas (single serving) a dozen mini cupcakes and proceeded to inhale all of it.

I see a lot of people drop weight in Spark like there is no tomorrow- quickly reach their goals and while I am happy for them and their achievements wonder what do they know that I don't know?

Should I go to the gym today? Should I track my food? What is the point?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think that 38 lbs. is a huge amount of weight. Seriously. Sometimes you can do everything right and plateau for a long, long time. It's really discouraging to stay at the same weight for a long time, but celebrate what you are doing right. Find some new exercises to spice things up, but please don't give up!
    3545 days ago
    Tanya- I'm right there with you. Struggling to find my way back to "me". We can do this together. BLC17 is right around the corner. We can both reach some goals. I totally agree with what everyone else is saying. We need to commit to maintaining some of our healthy habits and let that be the GOAL (in and of itself). We can be healthy, strong women!
    3546 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9697485
    Tanya, I don't think I can add anything to what others have already said. You are strong, you are inspiring, and you ARE able to complete this journey! As Barbara suggested, just focus on a healthy lifestyle vs. weight loss... work out because you enjoy it, eat freggies because they taste good! The rest will come, in time. And until it does, you have all your SparkFriends here to carry you through.

    Hang in there, Sweetie! And, as Churchill said, "Nevah, nevah, NEVAH give up!".

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3548 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/28/2011 7:26:55 PM
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    I would recommend not to focus on the scale or numbers at all. In fact, stop weighing and measuring your body. Just decide on some healthy habits and commit to those. It is okay for weight loss to slow down as one moves down with their weight. It will come off and, what's more, you will have my full support as you both fly and falter with this weight challenge.

    I'm much heavier than you and my weight is coming down veeeeeeery slowly and then it stagnates a bit before just a bit more comes off. This can be frustrating but all we can do is keep on keeping on. Just know that even though you enter into team challenges, this is not a race.

    3549 days ago
    Ah...Tanya! I know exactly how you feel because I have been there many times. It's taken me three years to lose 58.5 pounds and I've often thought of (and have) given up, only to get right back on that horse and do it again. This is truly a lifestyle change and we all reach plateaus and have rises in our weight in addition to the losses.

    I don't know if you know how much of an inspiration you are to other Sparkers! I know that in the BLC, you inspired me every time you posted with your enthusiasm and great ideas:-)

    Please don't give up girl! You are getting so close to your goal and know exactly what it takes, even if that scale is not budging. Look at how much healthier you are, how much more active you are, how much more you are enjoying your life since you've lost your weight!

    I'm here for you anytime you need me.

    Big Hugs,

    PS...I think you rock and have been thinking about you all day:-) I hope you are feeling better!
    3549 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/27/2011 5:45:23 PM
    Tania, I can sit here and give you suggestion after suggestion but you already now what to do. This reply is going to be more of a support response. I believe in you and know that you have what it takes to hit you goal weight. I know exactly what you mean about sitting in the same spot forever. How long did I stay between 200-207?? Like 5 months!! During those 5 months I was pretty much repeating your blog. I was so close to giving up and being done with this weight loss stuff, wanted to throw in the towel and many times I questioned if I really even need to to lose the weight. I support your feelings 100% since these are true feelings and exactly what happens to those who are doing this is right way! Making a lifestyle change like you are will always have set backs so be prepared. And as for others losing weight like crazy and meeting their goals in no time - look how little you are! Like for real - you are getting so dang close to your goal weight that this losing weight thing is going to be even harder! I can't compliment you enough on your dedication to a new you! You are fantastic and YES I think TRACKING AND GOING TO THE GYM IS WORTH IT! You are the one who told me so..hahah Had to add that in there! Whether or not the scale is not moving celebrating NsV are important (learned that from you too)! Hang in there girly! I can talk to you forever and will probably talk to you more this weekend so I an going to close on a high note...

    I am going to give you an emoticon because you are a FANTASTIC teacher and one of THE emoticon sparkies I know! Now put a smile on that face of your yours, YELL at your fat and I shall talk to you later!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3549 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/27/2011 9:51:54 AM
  • KERRYWM1974
    I could have written this post so many times!!!! I wish I knew tha magic button to push when everything just "clicks"... I have been there. I am not not there now, right now I am tkaing the babystep approach. I know what I have done in the past is given up when doing everything wasnt going well or when one slip up would make me abandon everything. Maybe pick just one thing. Add more when you are ready.

    OR, maybe you should GET RID of the scale and just focus on your measurements..or your energy level..or some other way to see progress. That scale is evil.

    Be easy on yourself, though. I beat myself up quite a bit and honestly it does no good.

    As an aside, have you had your thyroid checked recently? Just curious... I know about 8 years ago mine was discovered to be off and it explained a lot!
    3549 days ago
    I'm having a similar experience. I have been here over a year and I have stopped losing, I don't know what others are doing to lose but I'm staying the course, I prefer to live healthy than to eat all the junk and gain back what I've already lost. I am slowly getting back my spark, I just came from a walk with a co-worker and I've thrown out a challenge to my other co-workers for a weekly weigh-in I'm going to get to my goal no matter how long it takes I consider all these challenges as part of the journey. Wishing you all the best. emoticon
    3549 days ago
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