OK, so I¡¦m back. Technically I haven¡¦t really been gone, just... sort of lost. The last month has been hectic with my Dad and his girlfriend up. This was difficult as they DON¡¦T eat right. My Dad NEVER eats healthily, if at all (I spent an entire day without food, and for a girl trying to eat properly, and with a history of eating ALOT in the past, this was hard and ended with me getting takeaways as I needed food THERE and THEN, regardless of the consequences!). A case in point, I took them both to a market in one of the towns nearby, and for lunch we went to a small cafe that does a DELICIOUS Jacket potato with apple coleslaw and salad (I had this), my dad chose a HUGE sandwich filled with greasy bacon, ketchup and fried eggs.
I¡¦m due to go and stay with them for a week at the end of August and dreading it with the whole food issue. This feeling was made ten times worse when he and his GF asked what I was going to eat when they were down with them as they don¡¦t eat ¡¥healthy¡¦ food (the word healthy was said with a hint of derision). WTF?!?!?! With this I need help and advice on how I can help myself with this impending week. I¡¦ve already told them I¡¦ll be walking every morning to make up for not being at the gym (I remained rigid with my programme and kept going whilst they were here... I was NOT going to miss gym if I was eating so badly).
Thankfully I learnt I had more control than I thought I had. We went for a meal two nights before they travelled home... All you can eat Indian buffet... LUSH!!!! ƒº And I had my Indian, granted I went back for seconds, but I made a conscious decision before I went... I knew I¡¦d want to go back for more food, it¡¦s a tradition of mine, so I consciously halved the amount I¡¦d put on my plate, so I actually had one plate of food. I know it sounds strange, but by doing this I was able to trick my mind into thinking I had more than I actually did. Then desert came, and I REFUSED to have anything. My Dad¡¦s GF really pushed me into eating a desert, but being stubborn I said no. She did push me into having a profiterole, but when she TOLD me to eat another one I just looked at her and said a little more forcefully than normal ¡§No, I¡¦m FULL¡¨. Let¡¦s just say she didn¡¦t push the matter again. My hard work paid off as I was able to maintain my weight for the week, which is phenomenal as I ate really bad foods.
The next week, my Mum was away for 2 weeks, so from past experience when Mum was away, I told my sister no silliness, and we ate properly throughout the week, but the weekend was my downfall. When temptation is there I just cannot say no! I was more controlled, but I still threw out all my hard work and just ate. Then I got a cold in the Second week, and as my sister didn¡¦t want to cook after working all day, and I didn¡¦t want to because I was sick as a dog, we just ate crap all week. This made me feel even worse as I gained 6 lbs, lost confidence/motivation and self doubt started rolling in, particularly as I didn¡¦t go to the gym for a week as I was ill, so I ate even more. URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Wednesday 28th Sep, I was so mad at myself and falling back into my old habits. Happily my Mum came home that day and I told her everything, and since then she¡¦s helped me get back on track. Not by telling me what to eat, but just sitting there and letting me pour it all out. Since then I¡¦ve fought with my ¡¥need to eat EVERYTHING¡¦ in sight. I¡¦ve said no to any snacks at night and started tracking my food on SP again, which I haven¡¦t done for 4 weeks. I¡¦m now back to about 90% of my previous motivation, but I just need another few days back at the gym to sort out the rest of my focus. But it¡¦s working, as my sister now has my cold and yesterday sent me out with a shopping list of what she wanted for her lunch, at the bottom of it wrote, ¡¥and get yourself whatever you want, on me¡¦. Her list consisted of pot noodle, crisps, full fat cola and chocolate. Mine??? I didn¡¦t get anything. I did have a square of her chocolate and 3 crisps, but refused everything else that day, and in the evening I refused any offers of food put in my way. It feels so good to say that... I feel in control again.
So my goal hasn¡¦t changed for Christmas, and if anything, I¡¦m more determined ¡V Lose 14lbs by December 23rd. And do you know what I say??? Bring it on!!!
Love and hugs to everyone
P.S - A hat I brought on one of my days out with Dad and his GF. Welsh hat and goofy smile, perfect!