This time last year.....
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
We're officially 11 days away from our annual trip to Puerto Morelos, Mexico (well second year this year :) and I remember how hard I was working to make it to my "goal" weight of 125 lbs. I wanted so badly to be in "normal" BMI weight while in Mexico that was my goal. Since my "light bulb" went off in December 2009, my journey began with a New Years resolution to get to normal weight. That was my only goal.
I was, emphasis on WAS a yo-yo dieter and had hit a bottom on my weight gain. I let it all happen while enjoying married life and blissfully in love with my soul mate and in the mean time I became careless with myself and gained all the weight I had taken off before meeting Espen. I "tricked" him I told him...haha...I can only say that now that I've lost all my weight plus some. I'm sure he doesn't think that is too funny although he never said a mean word to me or ever made me feel ugly.
I made myself feel ugly and therefore the downward spiral went.
So it took me 10 months to get into "normal" BMI with my height range, and yes I know people say you can't go by that but 105 lb. to 127 lbs. for 5'0 there is a lot of wiggle room and if I can't even get into normal weight I wasn't going to be happy. I mean who wants to ever be categorized in the over weight section, much less the obese section one in which I was opening the door....wide open at 156 lbs.
This time last year I was one week away from making it to 125 lbs. not just into the normal BMI range but 2 lbs. in! That meant so much to me! because I wasn't just 1 lb. away from being overweight but I was 2 lbs. away! haha...so much a girl and so unnecessary but welcome to the world of a girl on the weight loss journey!
So this year oh how so much has changed. I no longer obsess about the scale. I'm now at about 120 lbs. give or take a few on both sides. I gain muscle easy and loss fat hard so I figure I'll never be on the low side of my BMI range a fact I am totally fine with. This year I worked on building muscle so I knew I couldn't obsess about the scale because if I was doing it right there would be weeks were I was heavier. I really focused on how my clothes fit. I've only lost about 6-7 lbs but have gone to a size 6 to size 2. I still can't get used to that idea. I find myself still shocked when I fit in 2's and a little baggy in some styles.
One pet peeve of mine in which last year I would have been totally fine with is when people tell me I'm skinny. I want to say, "I'm not skinny I'm fit, huge difference". OK so I don't totally go off on that minor discrepancy so no offense to any friend who has kindly told me, "I'm skinny", compliment noted and taken but I think any girl who spends time with the big boys lifting weights aren't looking to be skinny, we want to be fit. Strong and lean.
To me there is something admirable and quite appealing to be able to balance strength with your femininity. A quality I hope to garner inside and out.
So this time last year all I wanted to be was skinny.
This year....well don't dare call me skinny. :)