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And so I continue to struggle ..

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I have a fantastic family but the support just isn't there. One tends to be too sensitive to my feeling and doesn't say a word and another constantly brings me things I should not have. Yet another brings home stuff for himself ... all things I would LOVE to have and eats them right in front of me. While I know the world isn't going to change just because I'm trying to lose weight and get fit and healthy ... I don't think it's too much to ask for the home I live in to change up ... not what they are doing ... but HOW they are doing it. I certainly do not want everyone else in the house to stop eating what they love just because I shouldn't have it at this point and time in my journey! It gets more and more difficult with the major sabateur (did I spell that right?? LOL). Depression doesn't help but it's not an excuse to be lazy or eat whatever I want. So does this mean I don't really want it? I think not ... maybe I obsess on it too much ... it's not their fault I trip and fall ... it's mine because I'm ultimately responsible for what I put in my mouth and how I move or don't move my body! I did pick up a copy of The Spark and will begin reading it tonight. I think maybe I should focus my attention on others in the same boat as I am rather then expect my family to understand where I'm coming from.
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  • no profile photo CD11138528
    My family and friends are like yours. It has been my experience that it is useless to try and get them on board. You will have to reach deep inside yourself for the support you need and reach out here on sparks like you are doing. Don't want from others what they can't give you. The worse one I am struggling with is people who GIVE me stuff I should not be eating with sugar problems or losing weight. I can watch others eat what they want without it setting me off to want what they are eating, BUT if someone give me something I don't really want , I will still eat whatever because it was a gift. I will say "Well, this one time I will eat this , but don't bring me any more sweets." Few days later the same thing with the same people . I don't know weather I should make a big issue out of it or just say thank you then go throw it in the garbage which I can't seem to do . So when I tell you to reach deep down inside yourself and find the strength and support you need , I am also talking to myself. Lets do it!!!! Don't allow others to influence us away from our goals . I believe we can do it! Keep us posted on how your doing.
    3518 days ago
    Thank you everyone ... such wonderful people here on Spark ... why, oh why did I ever stop coming in??? Thank you for all the wonderful ideas ... I will definitely use them!!!!! I will also be certain to continue blogging. Again, thank you so much!!!!!

    3518 days ago
  • no profile photo EZGOINGAL2
    Try writitng little notes to yourself. YOU can encourage yourself just by watching the things that others are putting into their own "temples". And I tell myself everyday when I see family, friends and co-workers....I can have that if I want to, but I don't really want to. If it looks good, tastes good, smells good or sounds good....guess what? It's not GOOD FOR YOU!! We all struggle no matter how many pounds we weigh or need to lose. You can do this. Read this blog everyday to encourage yourself. I am seeing alot of good tips and encouragment. I will also keep you in my prayers. Ask Him for a little help. emoticon
    3518 days ago
  • STLSUE01
    wow. I really feel the struggle you're having, and I'm so very sorry you have to endure it. We can do the whole "You're ultimately responsible for you" speech but it doesn't change how you feel -- and how you feel is what's important here.

    Many times people around us react to our committment to healthier choices with fear and resentment, because we are daring to change, and many people fear change. You can discuss what you're seeing with "I feel" statements, i.e., "I feel unsupported when a large super-meat pizza is delivered...
    Can we have a small one with extra veggies and a small super-meat?" (This acknowledges your feelings, but offers a compromise too.)

    I have been overweight all my life. Looking back, my mother was a major saboteur -- with one hand she cut me down for being fat, and fed me with the other hand. I still struggle with it today.

    I think that the fact that you're aware of what's happening is a huge thing -- you're recognizing that something isn't quite right, and that's half the battle. Now you have to decide what your planned response will be.

    Best wishes on your journney.
    3518 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6938982
    Be an example to them and they will probably see the progress. I'm sorry you are dealing with low self-esteem. Love yourself for who you are. Try writing a "Letter" to your family and let them know how it makes you feel and how they can be more helpful. emoticon
    3518 days ago
  • DOUGZ69
    I think you have good points on both sides of the issue. However, maybe an honest discussion among all of you is in order. If they love you, and it sounds that they do, they will want to see you get healthy. Ask them to participate in your adventure with you. Explain to them that not only in terms of diet but exercise you want and need partners. Ask them to help make it fun to learn new things to eat and new ways of making choices. Try to find enjoyable outdoor activities such as a hike or something that you could do together. I am sure they care and it is OK to ask them to eat differently. Regardless of how their outward bodies look, if they are eating poorly it is just as much of a detriment to their health as yours. Love them back and try to meet on common ground.
    3518 days ago
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