What I’m thankful for 2011 – This might help new comers!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Alot has happened in the last 12 months. This time last year I was unhappy, scared of my own shadow and never took opportunities in my life, no matter how small they were. I hated my own reflection, I didn’t go out, I could count the number of friends I had on one hand, and I had no confidence or any feelings of self-worth. I had hit rock bottom, and I couldn’t see a way out. Every time I looked at myself, I felt more hurt and hatred at myself for how I’d ended up – 23 years old, 21st 6lbs (300lbs), hiding under baggy clothes with a total disregard of how I looked, which made me feel even worse, and ignoring the true reality of what I’d slowly done to myself and body over the last few years. Every day I would fill this HUGE empty hole I had inside, up with comfort food. I guess you could say, how I looked on the outside reflected how I felt inside... plain and nothing worth trying for.
Then I found Sparkpeople, where I logged to see if Calories could be explained for me, and found a world (not just a website), a WORLD of people with issues similar to mine. But instead of wallowing in it, they were actively doing something about it. They were saying “You know what, this was me, now watch this caterpillar work it’s ass off to become a sexy, kick ass, butterfly!”.
I read members blogs and watched videos where people had completely changed their lives. I admit I was on guard for the mirage to falter, to see the big hoax. I didn’t, instead I saw thousands of people changing their lives in completely different ways, all starting from the same place of wanting to lose weight or get fitter.
I saw my opportunity, lose weight following the incredible example of others and using my Sparkpage to help me do it. I’ll be honest, I didn’t see it really happening. I was a typical case of trying lots of diets and never getting anywhere and ending up worse off than when I started! However, I thought “What have I got to lose?”. That day, Tuesday January 4th 2011, I unknowingly changed my life. If I realised then what I would achieve in the following 12 months, I would have NOT believed it. I have made so many friends at my local gym, I’ve lost 64lbs, have the confidence to talk to a cute guy (trust me, this was an impossible task) and had the confidence to start volunteering in a job I’d never thought of.
I’m happy, more confident, not as shy in social situations and I have a new found love of life. I can FEEL the difference for last year’s Kat to this years. I can walk into a room with old (sometimes nasty) friends and not feel embarrassed about how I look, or intimidated at how they look. I am stronger, faster and more in control of what I eat, which has leaked out into other areas of my life, and makes me feel more empowered to go for opportunities I wouldn’t dare to think of let alone act on. Yes, it has at times been so tough that I’ve been close to chucking the towel in, especially the last 3 months! But I have just taken things one step, one day, at a time. I tell you what Sparklers, they are right, I feel better when I feel sore from a difficult day/workout than I do feeling sorry for myself for not attempting it.
January 4th 2011 - I was intending to ‘try’ to lose weight, instead I started the ball rolling to BUILDING a life, and now I can honestly say I’ve finally started living. What am I thankful for? In part I’m thankful to the possibility of opportunity; because opportunity led me to Sparkpeople. But I am truly thankful to Sparkpeople and ALL you Sparklers out there, who have lit the path in front of me, taken my hand and supported me.... THANKYOU! Sparkpeople isn’t just a normal website, for me it’s friends, an extended family... a home.
I wish you all Love and good luck for the coming year
Weight last Blog Entry: 16st 13 lbs / 237lbs
Weight this Blog Entry: 16st 9lbs / 233lbs