Running Shorts - A tale of unrequited love
Saturday, January 07, 2012
As my user name might indicate, I run for exercise. Lately, that may be pushing it a bit. I shuffle along, at a speed somewhat faster than a walk, trying to ignore the urge to lay down on the sidewalk and die. But I'm out there, so I'm beating everyone who's not. Since I'm almost always alone, I am WINNING.
As a "runner," I really want to wear shorts. I want to look like a normal person, jogging along in my cute shorts, getting my exercise in style. I would rather wear pants. I really would, yet in the humid midwestern summers, pants are a one way ticket to heat stroke town. So I wear the shorts, and every 10 steps or so, I do what I like to call the "short step tug." It is a not-so-graceful side step with a ever-so-subtle tug on my shorts to retrieve them from my nether regions. I just love doing that. It makes me feel so....hip and with it. I hope you can sense my sarcasm.
One day, one of two things will happen. I will develop thinner thighs through my efforts through spark people. Or, women will start designing running shorts for women with thighs. And no, they shall not be spandex. Because the humiliation of the "short step tug," is second only to running in spandex with my jiggle out there for the world to see. Sigh.
One day, I will realize my dream of running in shorts. Until then, I'm thankful it is January and I can run in pants. For a few months anyway.