Happy Sunday, sparkers!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
I'm *trying* to do better on this, and being in school right now, I think I'm on the right track as far as updating this is concerned.
I've had some vital epiphanies! I don't remember what I wrote in my last few blog entries, but I did want to sort of recap on said epiphanies. I've really been thinking since I've been back at school that in my very recent past, I've done a lot of things emotionally for a lot of people. I'm always there for my friends, giving 100% of myself to everyone...but myself, really. I don't neglect myself too much; I mean, I shave my legs regularly lol. No but on a serious note, mentally and emotionally (hell, even physically) I've not taken care of Kerissa. And I know that no one else will if I can't do it for myself. It's kind of like loving yourself - how can someone else if you don't?
Well taking all of this into consideration, I decided that I would take care of myself. It sounds like a simple solution, but it took a lot of thought to make that final decision. But I know that my cholesterol being high was just a sign to really focus on myself for once. This whole story really is just meant to get to the point that now, I finally am. I deleted my Facebook to start, and I really felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. I didn't want to have over 200 friends on there that I can barely call real friends. To me, it was a high school popularity contest, and I don't really need that. I need to focus on real-life issues, like my school work and my weight. My weight. My weight.
Did I mention I need to focus on my weight? I was horrified when I came back to school from winter break and realized that all my delicious home-cooked meals (and out-of-character McDonald's runs) had me 3 lbs heavier than when I was at school. Not A LOT of weight, but it was only a month, and mind you, I hadn't gained anything for over a month while I was at school. Luckily, it's been a week and my low-cholesterol/eat better eating has wiped those lbs away. AND I lost another on top of that. I'm 232 now!
I find it easy to eat healthy at school. All of the options are there - they have the boiled eggs, egg whites at the omelet station, they have salad, fruit salad, low cal soups, fresh sandwiches with all sorts of bread and veggies, and they have oatmeal. I just neglected those stations, and went for the quesadilla (sp?) station, or the top roast with potatoes. It was always the wrong choice next to the right choice, and I always wanted my meat and potatoes. But now I find that I can eat SO MUCH FOOD when it's healthy, and the fat kid inside of me likes this prospect :) I can have FOUR boiled egg whites?! Yes please! Just little things like that - even if it's a mind trick, really help me eat better. And it goes without saying that I stay fuller, longer by making these changes. Every meal is accompanied by my fish oil, flax oil, and vitamin C. I'm pretty well rounded, eh?
I'm sick right now, so the gym isn't quite ready for me yet (see what I did there?) but I will definitely be hitting it up next weekend when I've made a full recovery. I'm making these changes because I can only depend on myself to make myself better - no one else. I need to focus my life on me, for once. I like this change so far :) and I'm grateful that the people who are close to me understand that these are the changes I have to make to make myself happy. I've realized that the people who don't understand...really don't matter. Honestly, so far, no one has disapproved so that tells me if anyone does, well yea. I don't care lol.
Anywho, I'm trying to really buckle down in college, so I don't know exactly when I'll write in this next. But believe that if I have a spare moment, I will update you guys with any other goodies I encounter!
PS - Facebook isn't coming back until I 1) get my first A of the semester AND 2) I lose 32 lbs (putting me at 200 even). So those are TWO requirements that must be met before anything goes down. Yay for challenges!