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Reflections

Monday, January 30, 2012

Looking back to the 80's makes me look back to some of both my best memories and worst decisions.........and documents the start of my realization that I was unhappy and taking it out on food.

I reached my highest weight not in the 80's but in the mid 90's. My journey to that weight began in the 80's, however, with the birth of my children and my coming to the knowledge that I was in a marriage I hated and felt I had no way out. Yep, I was a professional woman, and yes, I ended up being the chief money-earner in our household..........but I was trapped by stereotypes and the lack of courage it took for me to be honest with myself. So, I dove into my role as "Mom" and immersed myself in all things kids................activities
, homework, chauffering, being the hostess mom and therefore mom to many........and lost myself in the process.

20 years later, I've come a long, long, long way from that woman I was. I"ve managed to go from my highest weight of 240 lbs to my current "range" of between 165-177. I can't seem to get below 165 and stay there, but I catch myself in my poor eating habits before I get above a level at which I'm "finally" out of control. I've picked up a love of distance bicycling, but I'm finding with my age, I need to pick up the habit of conditioning and ST to keep myself ready to manage the distances. I've changed some habits but picked up others...................and what I've learned is that this is an ongoing, ever-changing, lifetime "process". It will never be static, and it will never be "over". The challenge lies in accepting that............and adjusting to it.

THAT's the thing I'm still working on.

That, and the lady in the mirror...............
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