Taking It Back
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wow, I made a huge discovery yesterday. I did a repertoire coaching with a coach from New York. She's a gal who helps performers pick the right songs to audition with for musicals and such. I had audited her class here in town for the past four weeks. It was a class specifically geared toward auditioning for rock musicals. So I scheduled a private 1/2 hour repertoire coaching with her yesterday and in the 1/2 hour got to sing rock and roll, blues, country and pop - and full out, too. People usually don't hear me sing this way. I usually just sing in the musical theater and pop style in performance. More "appropriate" for my "size", I suppose. But I left the coaching feeling soooo happy and more importantly feeling so free. Like I let something out or something go. I have kept those voices inside of me for SOOOOO long. So held down and repressed. I CAN sing rock music. I CAN sing blues. I CAN sing country. I have always been able to. But I never do - because I'm fat. And I'm not young. And who wants to see a fat old lady sing rock music, right? WRONG. I am plus size but I don't really feel like some unattractive person. And I'm 48 but I don't feel old. I am sooooooo TIRED of the limits!! The limits this town imposes, that others impose, and the ones I have imposed on myself. I'm sick of holding down those voices to be appropriate or to make others FEEL better. UUGGGGHHH!! NO MORE!! Grateful for the opportunity to sing yesterday and to use the full extent of my talent and for the continuing journey to take back my voice and heal myself.