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Looking Inward

Saturday, March 31, 2012

I've realized that my biggest hurdles are emotional ones -- I stand in my own way in all sorts of ways -- setting up mental obstacles, judging myself and my actions too harshly, having little confidence in my ability to do great things, and failing to celebrate the great things I'm already doing. I started seeing a therapist this fall and winter, and have just finished those sessions (the therapist felt that I was ready to use the tools we talked about, and I'll reach out to her when I need to). Having someone to talk to was immensely helpful to me in making connections, realizing how much negative thinking I direct toward myself, and also realizing the impact of past experiences and traumas on my current emotional habits and self defeating attitude.

Journaling has been really helpful to me -- not only does it help me collect and process my thoughts and feelings in a productive (and non-harmful) way, but it also is relaxing and meditative in itself, and puts me in a different emotional state.

While my tastes in food are very healthy ones and I have a natural love of movement and exercise of all kinds, I really struggle with emotional snacking, which is linked to all kinds of other negative patterns, like procrastination, indecision, worry and self-criticism. All of which come back to fear. I'm working on the internal aspects of health through journaling, meditation, exercise (a huge emotional boost for me) and life-goal-setting work, to really clarify my own purpose in the world in the different spheres of my life, and to make sure that I'm not standing in the way. I'm trying to remind myself that I have a responsibility to shine forth in the world!
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