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Restart Today - - Day 1

Friday, June 01, 2012

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford

I loved this quote so much in 2010 or 2011 that I cut it out and displayed on my bulletin board at work and on my fridge at home. I believed it. I still do! Unfortunately, I've let myself stay down for a little too long after the loss of Austin - - he is the root of where I'm at now (and again), but that's OK! It was necessary to get pulled into the grief of losing him in order to learn whatever I'm sure I've learned from it that I just can't put into words.

But enough is enough. I've done enough damage to myself. I've put all of the weight I lost in 2010 and 2011 back on, plus 5 more pounds. I feel heavy & sluggish, I'm back to having back pain if I do too much (which doesn't happen often), all of my clothes are getting tight. This is just stupid. So enough is enough. I'm not done grieving, will never be done with that, but it's time to stop letting that define me. It's part of me now and I guess it will just have to be part of the healthier me, too! So I'm going back to the basics where I started in 2010. I'm committing today to exercise for at least 10 minutes every day for next week. Eventually I'll stretch that out to 100 days, but starting with one week first, then 14 days, then 30 days, then 60, then 100. Those are my goals.

I'm ready to do it again and feel better all around!
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