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Monday, June 04, 2012

Well, had my monthly check up at the doctor today. My weight remains about the same. It has for about 2 years now I think. I'm at the point where I either need to drastically make changes and devote myself to the weight loss or I need to just give up. I don't know if I have the support to do much more than I am, and yet, I'm not ready to give up if that means staying this size forever. I'm right on the border of being okay with my size... but health wise I still have a ways to go.
My blood pressure is now on the rise again. I've been off all b/p meds for a long time now and it's a wake up call today to have to go back on them.
I wish that there was just one thing I could focus on changing, then move on to the next one, and then the next one... I am overwhelmed by having to do it all at once. I guess I need to just start completely over because I can't even remember where the beginning is. I don't know what to do next. I am at a loss. Don't know where I'm going, and don't know how to get there. I don't know who to turn to for help. I just know that the road I'm on isn't the right one.
I don't mind working for what I want (to be healthy)... but I feel like the work I am doing, while it is helping, I am not making progress!
I don't want my whole focus to be on food and exercise. There are so many things more important to me (my family, my faith, and because of needing to provide for my family my job is important too...)
well, hopefully tomorrow looks better. Tomorrow is my last day being 33 years old.. Wednesday I turn 34 and I know the older I get the harder it will be to get this weight off! So I want to do it now!
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