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I Just Fell Off A Horse

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I'm sure that there is a metaphor in this somewhere. Nevertheless, today, I literally, rather than metaphorically, fell off of a horse. I've been learning to ride these past few weeks thanks to a wonderful friend and accomplished horsewoman who has invited me to stay with her for 5 weeks at her new home in Northern California. It's a lovely gift that she and my parents have given me for graduation.

So, to review. I finished my doctorate. I am in California for a month learning to ride horses. I fell off of a very tall, very lovely horse today.

I have also come back here, to SparkPeople, to try to undo the damage I have done over the past many years to my body. I have let my mind take the front seat. I have very little sense of balance. (Note: That is not the reason I fell off the horse.) So mind before body instead of both at the same time.

I gained 20 pounds since the last time I was here, and I am now the biggest I've ever been. But I've been trying to start the weight loss process. Since May (graduation) I have managed to exercise at least 5 times a week, at least 30 minutes each time, avoid mindless eating (no more TV!), and find ways to de-stress that don't involve food. On this vacation, I've eaten only at home and have stayed within my calorie range. All that, and I can't make the scale move even ONE POUND. Not one. Single. Pound lost since May.


But here's what I did do. I went on my first trail ride this past weekend. I was so sore I couldn't move for 2 days. I felt ALIVE! It reminded me of my younger days as an athlete, when I would push my body to the limit--let it show me what it could do. I felt so good knowing that my body moved and persevered.

And then today, I fell off a horse. This was monumental. I have been hiding from my body, from pain--both physical and emotional--for a very long time. I've been hiding from my body and calling it work. But alas, I can't hide behind my studies anymore. I can't hide from emotional and physical pain. I just can't hide behind 120 extra pounds. It's boring me.

This vacation has reminded me how much I love movement and physical challenges. When I fell off the horse this afternoon, my friend asked me if I was okay, if I was shaken up. Of course, I feel fine. I feel accomplished. I feel like a real Cowgirl, now. And yes, I was a little shaken up. Something that had been stuck got shaken up, shaken loose. I fell off and I didn't die. I didn't break anything. I looked at my friend and said, "I'm getting back on." And I did.

So--I'm back on. I'm ready for this ride.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks, everyone, for the unconditional support. You are truly inspiring me to keep going!
    3249 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4364104
    Congrats! It's hard to fall off, conquer your fear, then get right back on!!
    3253 days ago

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to get back on the horse - both literally and figuratively.

    You're an inspiration!
    3254 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12316734
    You did the right thing by getting back on!! I've had horses for 21 yrs and have come off many, not so much these days though, and you have to get back on. A hot tub or massage helps with those sore muscles too. A group of us went trail riding this past Sat. and even though I ate Wendy's afterwards, I lost 0.7 lbs just that day. Riding works all your muscles!!

    Congrats on the docterate!!
    3254 days ago
    You've got it my dear Watson! You've got it! You go girl! Bottle that feeling and refer to it when you fall off the wagon, you can jump right back on the horse!

    Horses are amazing animals who can teach us many things! They are also more of a full body workout than given credit for! I rode bareback from three years old until I was twenty five! Then took up hunt seat and dressage! When you learn to feel your horses every emotion through your body and the horse through yours and you find that rhythm with each other that is as in perfect time as a Swiss watch, there is nothing like it! I didn't get it back after kids and weight gain, my balance was way off! I finally changed my eating and started doing the firm workouts every morning during the week. I felt a difference in ten days, then six weeks in I lost 20 pounds. I kept going and at nearly four months I lost over forty pounds and was buff, great legs, butt, and thighs! My dressage instructor couldn't believe the new riding pair she was seeing, we hit that sweet spot and riding never felt so good! My big 16.2 hand paint horse and I were fine tuned dance partners and It is truly amazing!!

    You can do this and once you get there, you will be amazed at the new fit and healthy you! Take it one day at a time and you will get there!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3254 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/20/2012 5:47:43 AM
    good for you. all success really is, is getting back up when we fall. emoticon emoticon
    3254 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/20/2012 1:53:53 AM
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