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From a snowball to a total meltdown!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

So I said earlier that I would do a blog telling more about me. Here it is.

My name is Susan Rodriguez. I am 45 years old, married, with 2 grown children and an 18 month old granddaughter. We all live together in Washington State. I have been married for 25 years. Yep more than half my life!

I am originally from Ohio but my family moved west my Sophomore year of high school. I am the oldest of 3 children. I am biracial (black and white). I know I know, everyone thinks that I am Mexican. I think the last name fools them. I just tell people that I used to be Johnson and I married Rodriguez! Lol

Now on to the snowball. The last 5 years have been difficult. In 2007, my husband and I split up and he moved out. We were trying to work through things but not getting anywhere. December 21st. I had the right side of my thyroid removed. I had a goiter that was getting in the way and my doctor suggested that I have it removed. On December 31st. I was notified that they found cancer in the part of the thyroid that was removed. Since they were not sure that there wasn't cancer on the other side, on January 10th 2008, I had the other side of my thyroid removed.

In May of 2008, I had radioactive iodine treatment. In June I walked in the survivor lap of the Relay for Life. In July 2008, I left a 15 year job in a local bank to the unknown of Oregon to be closer to family. I got a job in a bank and worked for them for 2 years. I worked in 3 branches, had 6 different managers, and at one of the branches that was in a Safeway store, the store closed and we thought we were going to be out of jobs.

During those 2 years, I was diagnosed with Diabetes, Sleep Apnea, High Blood Pressure, & High Cholesterol. I also ended up in the hospital 3 times in a 6 month period in 2010 thinking that I was having heart attacks. It was in those hospital stays that I was diagnosed with anxiety/panic attacks. They also found that I have a slight blockage in an artery in the front of my heart. Needless to say, that all came with LOTS of medicine.

Also during that time, my husband came back and we got back together. Then in May of 2010, he moved back to Washington to get a job as he had trouble finding work in Salem. In September, I followed him. Then all hell broke loose and I went into a deep depression. I couldn't leave my house, couldn't talk on the phone (even to family), didn't want to see anyone or take care of myself. If I even thought about leaving the house or talking on the phone, I would go into a huge panic attack that would send me to bed. This went on for over a year. I am still dealing with this now but no where near what I was going through before.

As you can see, things just came rolling down on me like a snowball and then I crashed and had a meltdown. Today, thanks to prayer and SparkPeople, I am getting out of the house, I call family more, I even called a Spark friend the other day!

I said all this to say that YOU can do it. I know that so many have things in their lives that are difficult to handle and may even be worse than what I went through. I am not looking for pity. I just want to show you that you can get to the light at the end of the tunnel! I had to turn things over to God. He had helped me so much.

Don't ever give up just because things in life get hard! Lift your head and look to God. Ask for His help to get through. Do what you can do and He will do what you can't do!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow you've been through so much and you still manage to remain positive & encouraging! Praising the Lord for You & for getting you through tough times!
    3204 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12405895
    My eyes leaked a little as I was reading your blog! With Joy Sunshine!!

    Way to go, getting it out and sharing it with others. It is very cleansing for our soul.

    You Angel face are a remarkable Lady!

    "This little Light of Mine, I'm gonna let it shine!!!

    3230 days ago
    I've said it before, Susan, and I'll say it again: You INSPIRE me! emoticon

    I love reading your blogs and hearing how you are taking on this "get well" project with a fiery attitude. You ROCK! And you will most certainly accomplish your goals.
    3231 days ago
    You are a fighter, and I love that about you... NOW! I know why I nicknamed you SOOCOOL... You are freaking cool and I love that bout you. Cool to share and release, and give it to GOD... AMEN! And I'm so thankful for your testimony.
    3231 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Glad to see you're doing better. I've found that SparkPeople had been a Godsend. Now I'm eating right, exercising, sleeping well, and I have a positive attitude. I feel like a different person. I know you've found that, too. I,too, have found that the journey is easier when the Lord walks beside you. God bless you.
    3232 days ago
    Survivor is the word that comes to mind.

    "Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished; if you're alive, it isn't." ~Richard Bach

    Good things are coming your way! emoticon
    3232 days ago
    You are a fighter! My depression got really bad to the point of anxiety attacks over answering the phone, too. People couldn't understand how easy it was for me to have an anxiety attack. I am so glad that you are doing better now. Keep fighting!
    3232 days ago
  • CARMEL_466
    Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with us. You are a survivor and I love your attitude of prayer and positivity. Have a blessed Sunday and thanks again. emoticon
    3232 days ago
    God Bless you, and praise the strength you have. Thank God also, that the thyroid cancer was found in time to be treated. My favourite quote is that when things are so bad you can't put them into words, God hears and understands your groans.

    Did you know that an effect of low thyroid activity is depression? So, not only were you going through extreme externally depressing situations, you were also struggling with internal chemical factors.

    Ask one of your family to make you a compilation of your favourite upbeat songs, and have them on random play. Even if you don't think you're "exercising", they will lift your spirits and you may find yourself jigging along in your seat.

    Hugs, Satchmo x

    3232 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon What more can I say? Bless the Lord!
    3232 days ago
    You are amazing and I love your positive outlook and attitude emoticon
    3232 days ago
    What a positive outlook and message you are sharing for us all, Suze. Thank you. What a lot of physical and emotional challenges you've been through! My goodness! And you ARE a survivor, girl!

    Did you go into a depression because of DH or anything you know of in particular? It just seemed to be correlated.. you know? Are you still with him now? Are you happy with him?

    I'm trying to get motivated to dance now.. I have the music on and waiting to get going.. I think I am almost there.. I'm listening to "I've Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. This one is getting me ready to go.. I know exercise even 10-15 mins. will get me feeling better. Not sure why I'm kind of down tonight or struggling for the third day to get started on exercise. Sheesh!
    3232 days ago
    May God bless your success on this journey we all share! emoticon
    3232 days ago
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