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Hi.... again.... I know it's been a while

Friday, August 10, 2012

Well, I know it's been a while since I last blogged. there's been a few things stopping me....

Mainly I've been working, which is great because I needed to pay off my debts, but it hasn't been great in regards to eating healthy. My ex-colleagues (I was let go last Friday) loved eating sweets, buying cakes or making them from home and bringing them in. So I would sometimes, but not always, have one.

Also it meant gym was reduced from 3/4 days a week to just Saturday and Sunday mornings. By the end of the working day I was exhausted and the idea of stepping into a gym made me want to cry. But, I always made sure I went during the weekend.

My weight has been up and down. I'll loose a couple of pounds then get annoyed because it was only a few pounds, binge then get angry because I put on 3! And I eat in the evenings. Even if I'm not hungry, I'm sacrificing food in the day to eat chocolate at night, which isn't a balanced and nutritional diet.

Also, I've been stuck in between 236-246lbs for 9 months. THIS has been my biggest hurdle, which I can't seem to get over. I can't seem to maintain my focus long enough to break it. And it is the same issue I had the last time I lost weight. EVERY time I struggle to get under 226lbs. I HATE the fact that I can't seem to do it... I mean, I know I physically have no problem in doing it. It's the MENTAL BLOCK I have. I know once I get under it I'll be back into my stride. But until then I always seem to take AGES to do it.


The last 2 weeks I have been really focused. My Kcals have been dropped slightly as I hadn't done that for a while, and now that I'm not working, I'm more active again. I've been doing the gardening, housework (properly instead of a quick blitz), stopped my evening snacking and eating better during the day (and tracking it), and yesterday I walked 5 miles! Granted I was weighed today and I've put a pound on since I was weighed at the gym last week, but I think alot of that is due to the walking I did yesterday. Plus, my back is hurting a bit today from the walk yesterday. But this is a walk I'll be doing atleast once every two weeks, as I have to pop into the town for unemployment reasons, and as my car had to be scrapped (RIP Alice) the cheapest option is to walk until I save enough money for a car.

I'm gonna be pretty busy for the weekend. My best friend is coming over and staying Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I'm taking her hiking in the woods tomorrow (she has been warned to bring her boots).

I just hope I can continue this new focus I have. I just have to keep telling myself to remember this is a journey, it will take time, I will probably hate it every now and again, and I will have times where I have to fight myself to remain on the path. But I know that every little win I have is a win for my future. For my 26th birthday next September I want to near 168lbs (12 stone UK). That is my goal now, to lose (or maintain when things are going rough) and keep myself healthy. Everything else will just fall into place and if it doesn't... tough s***!

Well, I gotta go. I hope everyone has been great whilst I've been away, and I'm sorry for not being here. But now I am, and I'm planning on staying!

Love and Hugs


Current Weight - 242 lbs / 17st 4lbs

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