SP Premium


If at first you don't succeed....

Friday, January 04, 2013

I feel rather ashamed and disappointed in myself. I am here again and love this site. I feel foolish and ashamed saying that this time is going to be different. It has taken me years to lose just 30 lbs. LOL I have been back and forth on this site for years and each time I say, "this time I'm going to do it." and each time I say that I truly mean it. Life happens and exercise becomes boring and well.. years later I am only 30lbs down and I kick myself because I could be already at my goal weight. My weight has been a hinderence to me all my life. I don't do things because I am ashamed or afraid I'll get hurt or embarrassed to even try with people looking at me. How do you get over that? I'm not really sure.

Today I turn 38 and I hate saying that. I remember when I thought that was "SOOOO OLD" lol. Now I am 38 and I sit here trying to convince myself that I'm not old at all. It's silly I know but I think maybe we all do that. I am a college student and the young 18 year old girls in my class thought I was in my mid 20's which is wonderful.. but I wish I fel that way.

From another stand point- I'm a Christian and I feel trapped inside a body that keeps me from connecting with people. I I want to be delivered from this awful place. I remember a couple years ago losing 60lbs. I was under 300lbs and making my way to 250 and I felt great! I was more confident and I'm not really sure why I stopped and headed back up. I'd like to kick myself for that.

My first goal is to lose 15 lbs so I can be under 300 lbs again. That is what I want to do. 15lbs shouldn't be that hard. Right!?!?!?!? I think that will give me the motivation to continue with small goals and make it down to 250 and then on and on.

If anyone actually reads this- please feel free to offer advise. I can always use soem insight.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD12880318
    emoticon My biggest advice? Track everything!
    3134 days ago
    Yes! There are those out there who actually read blogs. I tend to look at the Girlies team blog list when choosing whose blogs to read. I know these are all ladies who either have or are making strides to loose significant weight. Even with having only 100lbs to loose I feel the struggle I lost 30 this year and gained back 10 this past month. I have never been able to get back to my prepregnancy weight which is one on my goals. My baby turns 7 in April. It has been up and down with the same 10lbs for the past 6 months.

    I guess one word would be to try things at home if you can't get over being ashamed to try things. The other would be to try and find others who also have significant losses to make. Just today I found a private, local weight loss/fitness group on FB. I know in college I did deep water fitness, there were ladies that were much larger than me but once we were in the pool no one could tell.

    keep going glad you are still with us
    3134 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.