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Watching J Decline

Sunday, January 20, 2013

J continues to decline. His blood pressure has begun to fluctuate greatly. It goes from low to high about every 15 minutes. If it stayed low or high the body could accommodate but the body can not adjust the the frequent swings. His feet and legs are swelling to 3+ to 4 edema-- 4 is the highest rating. He can not be given lasix as it would bottom out his blood pressure.

He is now very jaundice - even the whites of the eyes are turning yellow. This is how is was when he was first sent to the hospital the first time,

He can not have anything with milk as his lack of liver function does not process it and he will wake up the next morning throwing up.

He is in a wheelchair as he is very unsteady when attempting to walk and is at a high risk of falling. We do need a broken hip.

He has written notes to both of the children and his two best friends. He has moments when he is anxious and restless which is all normal for this stage of end of life.

The nurse has ordered liquid morpnine for me to have on hand if he is not able to swallow. She has also ordered a medication for those moments when he is restless as these will become more frequent. She is always a week ahead of the game and predicting his needs. She is wonderful and I will be forever grateful for her.

I think he will make it through January but will be surprised if he makes it to March. The nurse agrees. This is the same 4 - 6 months the doctor initially predicted but closer to the 4 months than the 6th.

I am coping. I am still very busy working full time, dealing with medical bills and insurance-- they are driving me nuts. One bill was denied as they put me instead of J as the patient!!!! Have to watch everything they do. Then the usual errands and the physical care.

One blessing for me in all of this that is helping me stay on track. I have a friend and we use to workout at the same gym. She moved and I lost my workout buddy. She has moved back within a couple miles of me. She called wanted to know if I would like to exercise again. The answer of course was YES. I explained the situation that I could not get away much but had a gym set up in my house. So she comes everyday at my convenience and we get in a good 45 min to 1,5 hour workout every day. J does not mind and is glad I have someone to workout with. Since She comes I do not put the exercise to the side as I do the many other things that need to be done. Putting in some time for me but still right here if he needs me.

We are all at peace. We all get times away to take a fresh breath. We know each day J is getting weaker. Times when he is just a little confused. He does not like me being away for too long. I think he is afraid something will happen and I will not be here. He is very appreciative. Just sad he could not have learned some of these life lessons sooner.

Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hugs and prayers being sent daily, even if I do not make it to your blog. You are an amazing woman and I am so glad your workout buddy is back.
    3030 days ago
    Hugs and prayers for you and your family. I think you are doing a great job. I am so glad you have a friend you can work out with. Exercise helps manage the stress and strong emotions. You're working out a lot ! It's great you have exercise equipment in your home. I wish he could have learned the lessons sooner too. May God's will be done. emoticon emoticon
    3031 days ago
    You have been an angel and I know that some day you will be rewarded for your giving and forgiving demeanor. J Is so lucky that you did not desert him in his time of need even though you had every right to. Your 2 children should be learning a valuable lesson about compassion. I continue to pray for you and your family and hope that J has done enough to feel at ease during his remaining days. Bless you and your giving. I am so glad too that you have a great workout buddy that comes to your home.

    3031 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    My heart aches when I read your blogs. I am privileged to know such an amazing woman. Hugs to you and prayers for your family.
    3031 days ago
  • MOGAL1946
    Hugs to you & prayers coming your way for strength to conquer each day. emoticon emoticon
    3031 days ago
    Will continue to pray for all of you. (((HUGS)))
    3031 days ago
    HUGS and prayers. I am so sorry as I can't imagine how difficult it is to watch someone decline. You are doing an amazing job and I am very glad to hear that you're taking care of you too as much as is possible. I am so glad you have Hospice.

    Blessings my dear.
    3031 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6598128
    Oh Honey. I am sorry. You sound like an amazing and strong person. Know that you are in my prayers today. HUGS!
    3031 days ago
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