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My Last Big Supper Phase is Finally Over, Just in Time!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Since Thanksgiving just two months ago, I have been struggling to eat healthy and exercise more again. Before that, I had been consistently losing weight each week and feeling better about myself eating the South Beach Lifestyle way and exercising more For Thanksgiving my family and I went to a nice Restaurant for a big and delicious turkey dinner and I stuffed myself to the point where I felt uncomfortable. At that dinner once again my dil told me how much better and thinner I looked. Well, maybe I got smug and just thought without much effort or hard work on my part and even with a little food cheating I would continue to lose weight. Well, as you all know just wanting and wishing it doesn't make it happen for us. I swear, from that day on I slowly lost my Spark and Healthy Focus and started eating basically what I wanted to again with not much thought to the consequences of my unhealthy choices. Plus I just about stopped exercising always coming up with excuses for myself or thinking I will do that later and then later never happened. I was in a downward spiral screaming inside for me to get a grip and get out of this very dark "hole" of abuse I was doing to my body.

It's been long two months with no weight loss and almost too afraid to WI and see what damage I had done to myself with my old unhealthy habits sneaking back in again. I didn't want to know how much weight I was gaining and didn't want to know what the scale said as was actually ashamed of myself and didn't want to post my weight gain in my Team's Weight Loss Challenges anymore. I was in total denial of the harm I was doing to myself both mentally and physically by not being accountable to myself nor to those friends who cared about me. Finally, a few good friends reached out to me and wondered if they could help and just knowing others did care about my well being touched me deeply. I'm usually the strong one for others but this time I needed someone myself to lean on for help and support--and they were there for me.

This week I've been re-reading articles and the South Beach Book again as this plan worked the best for me. It's eating good food with very little processed food on it. When I was on South Beach my sugar and starch cravings were almost non-existent. My Dr. was thrilled with my success and my lab work results were better than ever and my weight hadn't been this low in almost 15 years. Well, this morning, I decided it was high time to get back on the scale to find how just how much weight I had gained. I found out how quickly it is to re-gain 10 pounds and I honestly can't say I was shocked as I expected it to be about that. It's amazing how hard it is to lose 10 pounds but so easy to gain them right back. I wasn't a bit depressed to see how my unhealthy bad habits had affected me as I knew I was finally motivated again to do what I know works well for me, the South Beach Plan and exercising more. I know it will take time to re-lose the pounds but I know I'm ready to do what it takes to make that Happen and move forward again.

This Week I've been making getting Healthy and working to a Happy Weight a top priority again. . .after all no one can do this for us but we for ourselves. I am working on some new doable Goals to achieve. I'm glad to be honest and accountable for my weight gain and to move forward again. My pants were getting tight when they had been loose on me just 2 months ago. If it wasn't for those of you who noticed and cared I'm not sure when it would have hit me in the face like it did. . .but, I know eventually I would have come to the same conclusion myself. As I haven't worked hard for almost 3 years to lose weight only to regain it all back in a short period of time. In some ways I feel we're all a Work in Progress and no one is perfect and I've never even dared think I am in any way. I've even wondered if I hide behind my fat as I've never been one who likes to be the Center of Attention and maybe this is my way to protect myself from being hurt again.

If you have a friend who is struggling with food choices or a healthy lifestyle tell him/her kindly that you care about them and do support them. It's amazing how a caring friend can give us a wake up call about ourselves. Thank you all from the bottom of my Heart as I couldn't go on and do well without all of your encouragement, support and God's Strength.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have my support...you are kind and deserving of whatever you set your mind to - you are a great support to everyone and deserving of our support.

    2497 days ago
  • JUDY106
    Thanks for responding to my status feed. You are the only one that got through to my email. I miss those notices of my friends blogs. I added you as a friend please be my friend also read your Spark page. I relate completely to your story and to this blog. Hugs, Judy.
    2608 days ago
    emoticon I am so glad you came to your sparkfriends for support. You advise and support all of us. It is our turn to help you out. We love you dearly! Be good to yourself through chatting with friends, enjoying your growing family, doing things you love. Maybe a flower show is coming up in your area??? chris

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    2654 days ago
    Wonderful blog my friend. I can totally relate to so much of what you said. Here's to your success and all the best for the week ahead. emoticon
    3006 days ago
  • DONNAJZ4241
    Thank you, Jill, for writing such a heartfelt blog. I am a friend of Martha's who has also been struggling to the point where over the past year I have regained several pounds...28 to be exact. I have been searching for that "magic moment" that would get me back on track but it surely doesn't happen easily for me. I can definitely relate to what you wrote and I agree that having friends who care and reach out to us during our difficult times an be just what is needed to get us back on track. I'm glad that happened for you, and I thank Martha for pointing me in the direction of your blog.

    Good luck with getting back on track. Once you get a few good days under your belt, things will get a little easier. I am also starting over today (again) because continuing to gain is ruining my health and I feel horrible. I would like to add you as a Spark friend so we can stay in touch.


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    3012 days ago
    Hi Jill.....You know I have been having my own struggles lately. After the recent death of my dad, I guess a lot of things didn't seem that important anymore, including focusing on a healthy lifestyle. I have been slowly trying to get back on track.

    Well, this blog did it for me. I connected with everything you said. It gave me the motivation to begin anew and not worry about the 13 pounds I've gained over the last months. I know that I am not alone and your blog made me feel so much better . I thank you for that and for recommitting yourself to doing better because it gave me the spark I needed to do the same thing. Amazing, isn't it...how one heartfelt blog can reach so many of us who are struggling too?

    So sorry that I was so involved in my own misery that I didn't realize that you were struggling too. You are such a dear friend and I am so happy that you are re-energized for this journey. Yes, it is a long and often difficult one, but if we NEVER GIVE UP we will reach our goals, one day at a time. Love you and sending you lots of hugs. ((HUGS))
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    3012 days ago
    Hi Jill--Thanks for writing such an excellent heartfelt blog. The thing is, it could have been written by any one of us, myself included. For whatever reason, there are quite a few of us who have been on Spark and have lost our way.
    I've been on Spark for 3 years and gained 30 pounds. I cannot keep going along the path I've been following.
    Thank you again for the blog. It was inspirational and make me realize I need to do exactly what you are doing--recommiting to a healthy eating plan and a healthy way of living.
    I am glad you shared with everyone--you are one nice lady!
    3016 days ago
  • SPEEDY143
    Been there... done that emoticon We all have and 10 pounds seems to be the magic number emoticon Takes forever to get off... goes back on in no time emoticon Blogging helps to put the breaks on emoticon At the very least you feel better being honest with yourself and others and it give you a new starting point emoticon

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon love YOU Jill emoticon

    emoticon Linda
    3021 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11398088
    So glad you are at the point that you are heading back up the ladder to success. I am also thinking that I am just about there too. I have been coasting on my 35 pound loss for so long. I think part of me is saying well, no one noticed so what's the point. But, the point is that "I" know I lost it and it's time to lose some more. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't notice, but I really suppose it does matter! I've read the South Beach and it looks so do-able, I'm just scared of the lack of "breads" because those are what keeps my tummy from nausea. I always give up and then eat a whole loaf in one sitting. But, I'm thinking about it, I'm thinking about it. I'm the type of person that has to quietly think about changes for a long time before actually doing them. Here's to your success. emoticon
    3021 days ago
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    3022 days ago
    Jill, What courage it took to write your blog!! I'm so proud of you and happy that you are finding your way back. I know only too well how easy it is to regain. I've done it too many times to count. Just know that you have many friends who are here to love, support and encourage you. I count myself among them!! You can and will succeed...and so will I. Take care and have a great weekend!! Hugz!!! Sharon
    3022 days ago
    I am sad that you lost your way. That can happen so fast. Please know that way want to help you in the ways that you support all of us.
    Please know Jill that we need and love you. emoticon Jeanne
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    3022 days ago
  • CJMOK1121
    OMG Jill, I knew in my heart there must be something going on with you. I'm sorry I didn't respond to you sooner. You are a most wonderful friend and an AWESOME leader. I know sometimes the Holidays just get us all off and back onto those old habits. I too am one of those who just get inside myself and eat and even though I know I'm just hurting myself I just can't seem to pull myself out of it. I'm so glad you are back on track and I know the South Beach diet is a really good place to start.

    HAVE A GREAT DAY: CJ from OK. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3022 days ago
    Thank you for your honesty. I needed to hear it. I have done the same. Keep Sparking!
    3023 days ago
    Jill Dear, I was sorry to hear you got off track, but elated to know you are back doing what worked in the first place.
    You are not alone, I don't know how many times I worked months at losing only to gain the pounds back in days. My daughter and I were just discussing that yesterday. And why this time I am keeping the pounds off..
    I feel it's my last chance. I used up all my get out of jail free cards. At my age I can't afford to yo yo diet. Plus I love my wardrobe and refuse to buy larger clothes. Smile!!
    If losing weight was so easy everyone would be doing it and we would have no obesity. It's hard, it takes time and commitment.
    Well you have both and I know you will do the best ever to lose as much as you can, with no more slip ups.
    It's easy to get complacent. I have to check myself often.
    Take care.
    Be strong, stay positive.
    Hugs Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3023 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12756725
    I did the same thing Jill. So glad you found your way back! I'm trying...hope some of your enthusiasm rubs off on me!!! Good for you girl!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3023 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/24/2013 4:35:54 PM
    Glad you are back on track - it is so easy to get off course, and it takes real honesty and courage to face ourselves and change course to a more healthier lifestyle. You are such an inspiration to me.
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    3023 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5707126
    I am so glad that you are able to return to what works for you. emoticon and emoticon emoticon
    3023 days ago
    Dearest Jill: Hugs, hugs, hugs!! Just having you "back" is awesome and I can see much success in your (our) future!! Love that you worked at figuring it all out...and thank you for being so honest. That is something we all need to do and be every single day! You are such a blessing in our lives! We need to band together FOR one another. More another time, as I'm shutting the puter down in a few minutes! Thanks for the sunglasses...not sure I'll need them, but I can hope, right? Love you, Warrior Sister!! XOXO Jeannie
    3023 days ago
    glad you are back on track Jill, I know how easy it is to slide back into our old habits.
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    3024 days ago
    Hi, Jill, I'm sorry to hear you were struggling. Glad you're turning it around. I could have written this blog, but I found it very difficult to put the 16 # I gained back on. I had to work on it, eat every thing I hadn't even wanted for more than 6 months, go back to old habits with a vengeance, etc. But I did it. 16 big awful pounds. And I couldn't seem to turn around. Finally, about 3 days ago, I found the main problem. I had started eating while reading and watching movies again. When I started SP I started eating at the table. I had let that habit slip and when I let the food choices slip also, I was in trouble...big time. Well, you and I are going to turn around and do this things and we're not going to quit, are we? I have your "Won't quit" on my desktop and have read it several times lately. I'm so glad you're back. emoticon emoticon
    3024 days ago
    Getting back on track is easy with the help of friends and a positive attitude like yours .I admire your courage !
    3024 days ago
    My dear sis, I am so happy that you wrote this blog. You really needed to write it and we all needed to read it. But by being a leader, I know it had to be harder for you than for us followers. I kept checking out the challenge and had seen that you weren't posting on it. You had been under so much stress and I know you had to be putting on a few pounds also. Since I had put on a little over 15# since my scare at the end of September, I knew it was because I was so stressed out over everything. Then my birthday, thanksgiving and Christmas. All "chow down" days. But like you, I too, woke up like you did. This b.s. had to stop and thank God it has for both of us.
    The very best of luck to you, my precious sis, and I wish you only the best. You have every number you need to get ahold of me if you need me. Love you, honey!

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    3024 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    I am so glad you are back on track my lovely friend ...It is so easy to slide back into old habits ...
    Way to go Jill for waking up to getting back on track before no further damage is done ..
    Love you xxx Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3024 days ago
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    I was where you were for months. I even took my weight ticker down.I recently put it back up. emoticon emoticon
    3024 days ago
    Dear sweet Jill.....
    TY for comming back to us again! I have missed you and because I stay buried in my own misery I failed to notice your struggles. I'm sorry and hope to see you here with us again!
    3024 days ago
  • KATE_70
    Jill...I know that becoming honest with yourself is the most important component to a healthier weight and being healthy overall. That is what you have done. I don't think anyone can make permanent changes without self honesty. I'm very happy for you :)
    3024 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12935469
    My dear friend, you had a detour but you are committed again to your path. You are on the right track, understanding the behavior and recognizing the denial. You have given them the knock out punch by sharing them with us and making the commitment to your plan.
    This is your new beginning.
    3024 days ago
    Oh, Dear Jill .. your words touched me deeply. It takes a lot of courage to face our demons, and you did just that. Thanks goodness you stopped it now at 10 lbs! As you know, I didn't stop until I regained 33 lbs. Sometimes no matter how strong we are, the journey or the burden gets too overwhelming and drains our energies. It is good that those reached out to you and in return you reached out as we can all share in your journey and learn from it as well. We don't have to suffer in silence - which can be my mode sometimes as well.

    You are a good friend and excellent team leader. I know you will be successful as you have already turned this around!

    Love, Jackie
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    3024 days ago
    emoticon blog, Jill.

    Let me say: I am so happy for you. I am so proud of you. I know you can do it and I know you will do it.

    It takes courage to write a blog like you did. That's how I know you want it badly and that's how I know you will do it. You did write that blog.

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    3024 days ago
    LISE emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3024 days ago
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