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Don't know where to go from here...

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Well, went off my meds in November. I figured it was time. I'd been on them since 2007 and they were no longer helping. However, as soon as I started lowering the dosage I started gaining. I've now gained back all but 15 pounds of the 70 I had lost. I've put on 30-35 since October/November. Now I'm having other health issues again. Back on Blood pressure meds. My feet hurt again. I have trouble doing anything physical (like bending over to pick things up tying my shoes, etc...). I feel depression coming because I have no one to really share my pain with. I try to talk to my husband and he just walks away. He says he doesn't know what to say... doesn't know how to help... but he's also never really tried. He says no matter what he says it's going to be wrong, but saying nothing tells me he doesn't even care! I get that he doesn't care if I'm fat or not... that's great that he doesn't love me for the way I look, but how about caring about the fact that I'm sooo miserable and so unhealthy...
This really isn't about him though. It's about me. I just don't know what else to do, I feel like I've tried... I thought I was successful, but I guess it was all the meds after all. So what now.
I really want to give up. I can't find my want to anymore. But I also don't want to be this miserable for the rest of my life!
Wow, thought this blog rant would help me feel better, but it really hasn't. Maybe I am just doomed... :(
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am still on meds, just different ones.
    Today was a better day. I see my doctor tomorrow, but it will be for the last time. I have had too many problems with them and the office staff always treats me like I don't know what I'm talking about. And this time I even caught them lying to me about when they got results from the xray of my foot. I had the x ray taken on 2-26. They took possession of the results on the 27th. I called on the 28th and they "didn't have it". That was a Thursday, they close early on Fridays so I couldn't call that day, still didn't have them on Monday. I called again Tuesday and they finally called me back. They say they called to get the results on Monday, but there was no transmission that day! (I have a relative who works at the imaging place I went to). I knew my results the day after the xray, but took a week for the doctor to tell me!
    2981 days ago
    Bless your heart. Life is so frustrating sometimes and men do have a habit of silence in those times we really need to hear their words echoing in our hearts. My Honey just keeps encouraging...but he just doesn't get those times when I need support in a different way other than 'way to go'. I just keep Sparkin'!!
    2981 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11283527
    Have you had your vitamin D levels checked. Low levels can cause pain. Keep with it. Great blog!
    2982 days ago
    I've been off my meds too! It's nice to not have to be on any.
    2982 days ago
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