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Walking Away

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I came home from the gym yesterday in an unusual state - stressed! This lady was eavesdropping on a conservation I was having with another woman. She obviously was quite an angry person and went off in a tangent, prattling away and giving me her viewpoint. I won't go into the subject matter but my family had personal experience with the topic. She will never know this because every time I went to mention it she prattled over me.

I did not want to listen to her nonsense but being a typical polite Canadian type I stood there for really a ridiculous amount of time. It might have been a half hour although it felt like 3. I can tell you she was dead wrong in everything she was saying but I thanked her politely for giving me her viewpoint. Of course, silly me now wonders if anymore of her diatribes will come my way at the gym now that she has her foot in the door.

I went home to my husband and he looked at me with incredulity and said, "Why on earth did you stand for it? If she wouldn't listen to you could just turn on your heel and walk away!"

What a concept huh? I never do that. I am not a rude person and when someone is rude to me I am so astonished at the behavior that I am like a deer caught in headlights. All this time and I still don't know how to assertively disengage. No wonder sometimes I take solace in food. If you don't deal with things, things deal with you.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PROUD-GRANDMA
    Confrontation is hard. You can say I agree to disagree on this subject. However, you are entitled to your opinion. Then walk away.

    She shouldn't have eavesdropped.
    2946 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    She was rude but I understand because I have a hard time being rude back to people partly because of my work but next time she has an opinion, just say thank you and that you don't have time right now and walk away. I certainly wouldn't listen to her again if you are not interested in what she has to say. Good luck.
    2946 days ago
  • 1EMMA2011
    I was conditioned to be "Nice" - I was built to be nice. I didn't matter - as much as what things "looked like". It's all shame based. My Dad used to say "Just take it". This did me a lot of harm. My Mom would say "what will people think". There are a lot of variations on these themes. All this was false dogma yet they did the best they could at the time. They meant well for the most part. Yet I am dealing with the fall-out on a daily basis. Exactly as you say in the overeating area!

    Change is hard. Thank you for the opportunity to express my feelings and thoughts about it. That helps a lot.

    emoticon

    2946 days ago
  • ANGGEL40
    You wouldn't have been rude for walking away..she was rude for butting in when no one was talking to her..you didn't have to listen....if you had of walked away she would have gotten the picture(the who was talking to you walk away)..don't stress over it! I like to say God Bless to people like that...then they do the walking away..lol..Smile hun its ok!
    2946 days ago
  • 75HEALTHYME
    A difficult situation. Maybe you should find an assertive training class. One where you role play situations and come up with 'good' ways to react...... Knowing things you can say and do to change the course of confrontations before they happen will prove to be a powerful weapon in self preservation.
    Just a thought... you are taking classes to improve your health.... this is just another part of living healthy.

    (In My Humble Unbiased Opinion)
    emoticon emoticon Audra
    2946 days ago
  • FELINEBETTER
    Poor Wendy! I can understand your feeling though. I too am not very good about at cutting people off but sometimes you just have to! If you should cross paths with her again (and that's likely) -- don't run away from her, but stand your ground from the start. You do have to let her know that you won't let her walk on you like that! If it helps, pretend you are protecting one of your kids. You wouldn't stand for anyone ripping into your kids like that, would you? You would likely advise them "You don't have to take that from her. C'mon - let's go!" and do that!

    I hope you don't run into again soon, but be strong -- like the new Wendy you are!!! emoticon


    2947 days ago
  • RISINGBLUESTAR
    It is not polite for someone to listen in and then pipe in when you are having a conversation with someone else. I am sorry she was rude.

    Sometimes, people have the false belief that they know more about something than they actually do.

    Have you ever thought that walking away is a polite thing to do?
    I understand that just turning away isn't always as simple as it seems but
    don't think of it as a rude thing to do. It's prevents confrontation and helps keep you calm instead of stressing. Why should your body have to cope with stress when you were just minding your own business in the first place?

    It can be tough being kind to others even when they have been nothing short of disrespectful. Being kind to yourself and walking away is fair. Not impolite. Still, learning to be assertive can be complicated. It's easy for me to say walking away is not rude but much harder to actually do. Becoming assertive and not feeling guilty for it takes time. You will get there. :)

    Don't allow the situation to linger in your mind all day. Maybe there will be a time when this particular topic comes up where you can teach someone something valuable. :)

    emoticon emoticon








    2947 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/10/2013 4:43:22 PM
  • STEVENKIND
    Rude people get all defensive when you point out their rudeness. Mis-informed confrontational people are a joke and like to hear themselves talk. I could take it for a minute, but not thirty. Hang in there!
    2947 days ago
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