What do you mean I can’t eat it all After-I-Finally-Get-
Friday, October 11, 2013
First thanks to everyone who liked my blog and made it a Featured Blog Post and thank you for voting me a Motivator. It really does mean a lot when someone posts a comment and shares their story. Thank you.
In my continuing process to figure out how to keep myself healthy and at a good weight, I realized that the After-You-Get-To-Goal is just the beginning of another phase. As I thought through this I have spent some time “getting in touch with my feelings.” How many times have I been through a workshop --on all sorts of topics -- that the leader has brought this up? Often it is easy to be active during the exercises during the workshop or training but it is really, really hard to apply different strategies during the chaos and messiness of day to day life. But it has become apparent to me that keeping the weight off is partly about managing the feelings that food evokes.
I see apple pie and lemon meringue pie and it reminds me of helping my mom in the kitchen when I was young. Hot dogs, hamburgers, potato chips, fried chicken and potato salad bring back pictures of picnics and big family gatherings. A simple thing like the smell of beef stew with dumplings cooking on the stove on a cold winter night is very comforting. Pumpkin pie is all of those Thanksgiving and Christmas family gatherings. Nowhere does a bowl of broccoli bring up memories (unless it is a wonderful high fat cheese casserole). So whether I am happy, sad, stressed, bored, angry, lonely, nostalgic or ecstatic there is some food that will help reinforce my feelings or bring me comfort while I work through them.
What I realized as I work through the first part of maintenance is that I have to give up the foods that are tied to my memories because many of the foods do not fit into my healthy lifestyle. So my first reaction was total DISBELIEF that I could not go back to the way I ate before and it made me very angry. I have to permanently Change my Food choices. As I worked through these emotions in my blog it seemed that the Stages of Accepting Change really apply. I found the list on the Internet and have rewritten them to apply to me.
The Stages for maintenance are:
1. Shock and Anger, I learned that Change in Food Choices is permanent and I still do not get the 20 year old body back.
2. Denial, I wanted to be in a comfort zone, it will be different for me “I can still eat all the cheese I want”.
3. Depression, feeling depressed and negative about giving up foods I love to eat and only having them occasionally in small amounts if I really want to keep the weight off.
4. Insight and Acceptance, realizing that without Change in Food Choices, the road will lead me back to an unhealthy place while Change in Food Choices leads to a real chance of success and I am in charge of making those choices
5. Learning and Actualization, a positive mind state, adapting and figuring out strategies for Change of Food Choices and incorporating them into a healthy balanced life
I can see that in previous weight loss situations, I had never worked through the phases and really got stuck at number 2 or number 3. I am working through the Depression of giving up foods I have always loved to eat and working into Insight and Acceptance. Part of this process is learning to cherish the memories but not indulging in the calories. Also, it is about recognizing emotions and acknowledging them with something other than food. And recognizing hunger and choosing wisely most of the time trying to push out the Food Demon (Eat both donuts!) from my healthy self-talk (Have some fruit and ½ of a donut).
What struck me as I read through the comments was how many Sparklers have moved to the learning and actualization state. It doesn’t mean that maintenance is always easy. But the bottom line is you’re weight’s always going to creep up. You just have to keep pushing it down. We have to do the best we can with whatever information is available and what we accept about ourselves. You can read through all the wonderful comments but these are the ones that really resonated with me. Thank you all for sharing I posted your Spark name at the end of the comment.
SOME THOUGHTS ON CHOICES
Stick with what you know is truly fair and that you can live with for a long time. It really doesn't have to be a terrible struggle every day. OOLALA53
But I think in the end it is about doing the best that we can do to stay healthy without killing ourselves or injuring ourselves to lose the fat. HMAZIS
Fortunately as humans we've got free will and intelligence and grit, and we get to decide if something is worth the effort. 4A-HEALTHY-BMI
It is clear that the same rules for weight loss apply whether you're 30 or 60 -- reduce your calorie intake and increase your activity level. TORTISE110
Mother Nature can be such a meanie, but I will accept a healthy body and organs and let the shapers and camouflaging clothing handle the appearances! We will not give up, even though time is definitely not on our side! MNNICE
I can totally relate to what you say. It's the same for me. Losing weight means exercising my butt off - literally- and starving myself to death - literally. LOL. I have scaled back my expectations. MORTICIAADDAMS
I just keep moving and strength training at a moderate rate. I have stopped focusing on the scale number and rely on how I look and feel in my clothes. RACINGTODOIT
I enjoy and appreciate my new body, my new muscles. I'm not going to lose sleep over what I have not achieved so far! NICKYCRANE
I have learned to enjoy my cup of lasagna, and just a tablespoon of each component in a Cobb Salad. The one upside, I guess, is that time seems to pass faster at my age, so "a couple times a year" doesn't feel so onerous. NELLJONES
But I do more than an hour of exercise daily, including ST and I really watch what I eat. I am a size 8, but if I don't watch that will become a 10 again, and I gave all those clothes away. I think that it is important to watch what I eat and how much I exercise to make sure I feel and look good. I am 59 1/2 and find that every year it gets harder. But I work harder. LRSILVER
I hope I will be able to make good choices and live a healthy life and be content and satisfied with how I look, belly fat or no belly fat. I think the most important thing is how healthy I am and to continue to make healthy food choices and keep portion controls in check, and from there I'll take it one day at a time. OFFICECHIK
I am not in my 60s yet but as I creep into my 50s I am feeling all of the things you wrote here. It is really hard to maintain that first initial goal weight as we age and Mother Nature pulls her fast ones on us all. Great glob! Thanks for sharing. ISHIIGIRL
I refuse to live my life worrying about every mouthful of food. OOLALA53
Do I cut out all of the foods I enjoy across the board or do I eat healthy and enjoy some of my favorites, too? At my age, I'm thinking of enjoying my life a little more but I'm not liking the numbers on the scale or on my pants. My goal needs to be healthy not thin! BETHGILLIGAN