Binge Self Talk
Friday, November 01, 2013
I'd been maneuvering a nice little plan in my head. How i wanted to start my weekend. I wanted to go get a thin and crispy pepperoni pizza after work and a nice bottle of white wine. This would make me happy.
As I've been planning out my journey after 5pm another little nagging voice saying "is this going to get you where you want to be?". What do I want more? To stop the feeling of the snug pants almost cutting off my circulation? To see stacks of jeans and pants waiting for me to lose weight? I am craving the pizza because I want to self soothe. I know it. I see it. I want to drown out my emotions.
Both feelings are strong. Both desires are strong.
Which is stronger? I'm trying to think how will I feel after I go on an eating binge? Probably bad. Probably sick. Probably nauseous. Just need to get past today when the feeling is strong. This too shall pass.