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Some changes I would rather not have

Sunday, November 03, 2013

It has been a rough week, several people close to me are very ill. It makes me melancholy because life around me is changing and I am anxious about what it will look like. I have found myself hiding in the house and pulling back from being engaged with others. It is easier to fold up rather than add more opportunity for pain. I am involved with those close to me and will be as strong as possible to help their families through the difficult times ahead. But the effect on my life and the empty spaces they will leave make my eyes tear up. I am allowing my self to grieve for those who are in pain and for myself and the loss I am already beginning to feel.

I read a blog Be yourself..everyone else is taken by Beth and her words echoed with me. (Do stop and visit http://moredoors.blogspot.com/ and enjoy the beautiful photography)

These thoughts are from the blog but fit so well with what I need to do to help me through how I am feeling right now.

Make others laugh
Make yourself laugh
Be, don’t be back there or too far ahead, just be here
Love deeply, love like there won’t be a tomorrow,
Be thankful when you wake up, the past is the past, leave it there
Eat Broccoli
Play in the leaves
Don’t keep your feelings inside
Quiche can be eaten three times a day
Walk, walk a lot,
Don’t wear clothes that make you feel ugly
Drink more water,
Figure out what makes you happy and do it
And Last but not least, let me repeat. Be here, Be Present

My thoughts go out to anyone who is feeling a loss and I hope that we all come through our journeys with our focus to have happiness in our days and to add happiness to the lives of those we love. I am so grateful that I found SP, getting healthy and strong will help me through the stress and the people I have connected with have helped me to understand myself better.

Tomorrow I will be back on track but tonight I am going to allow myself to feel sad. But food will not be involved I have learned how to take care of myself.

Be yourself..everyone else is taken by Beth
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I pray your tomorrow's will be brighter. Sad is hard, but also such an important part of our lives. Thanks for sharing.
    2830 days ago
    BTDT, Sunny........please know that your fellow Sparkies care! Please be gentle with yourself while you work on coping!

    2831 days ago
    Oh baby. The fact that your soul is so open to others is even more important than being "on track." This truly is ON TRACK. Once I disengage from the work life, I hope that I'll be as in touch with others as you are now.

    Is Beth the woman whose blog you put us in touch with? I hope she's not the one who is ill. Do you know her well? Her blog should be a book!
    2831 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/3/2013 5:42:02 PM
    Oh wow!! You are a special person,you are!!
    To take the time and share what you have here displays a beautiful soul.

    My prayers are with you emoticon
    Ginny (Healthy Hearts Team)
    2831 days ago
    I understand completely. I lost almost all of my family from 1995 until 1998. It was very painful. My prayers are with you.
    2831 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13099273
    Oh Sunny - I am so sorry that you are feeling the pain of grief an anticipation. Helping those in need is very thoughtful during this difficult stage of Life. Perhaps you may be able to find a Bereavement Group through your local Hospice . I found that to be very helpful through some difficult times- Hugs Karen - I am here if you need someone - Karen emoticon
    2831 days ago
    I am so sorry that you have to go through this painful time. It is hard to let go of loved ones; it is hard to think of life without them. You will have the strength that you need to support the families and yourself. I am sending prayers for you; for the ill and for their families. emoticon
    2832 days ago
    Were that it were not so, but sadness is part of a full life. How could it not be? Saying goodbye to people we love and who make our live's good is hard. You take care.
    2832 days ago
    I'm sorry there is so much trouble and anticipation of loss around you...
    The quote is beautiful and wise.
    Being there in the here and now, not too far ahead really helps in difficult times.
    It is good you allow yourself feel the sadness, feeling and accepting is the only way out and forwards.
    2832 days ago
    This is beautiful. I'm so sorry that you are going through such a rough time in your life and with people that you care about. Take each day as it comes and work with that.
    2832 days ago
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