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I learned something today...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

This is a picture of my daughter at her graduation in May of 2013.

And her at her high school graduation in 2009.

Those are pictures of my daughter Samantha. She is getting married this year and is trying to loose weight. She belongs to the site myfitnesspal.com. I am also on there. Today I took the time to read her profile and I learned that she has never been "thin". She is somewhat chubby and that she never really felt comfortable in her own skin. I was surprised when I read that. I have never felt that she was chubby. And I would never tell her that.

I was surprised that she never felt comfortable in my own skin. I have always felt that my daughter is beautiful and that she is "thin"!!! Not the god awful thin that all women strive for. I am sharing this because I think we need to realize how our girls feel about themselves when they see pictures of women, and young girls who look "perfect". NO ONE IS PERFECT!! No Woman has flawless skin. A perfect body and no fat what so ever. I know how she feels. I used to feel the same way when I was young. I look back now and I see that I was never fat, chubby or not thin. I had extra on my body. I had hips. I had a waist. I remember when I was 18 joining Bally's and have the trainer tell me that I just need to tone my muscles. I lost some weight and inches. I looked and felt THIN!! I loved going to the gym and exercising. I saw the changes in my body. When I was 18 I only weighed about 130 lbs which was a normal weight for me. But I felt fat.

My daughter is beautiful and I think a lot of her feelings have to deal with the way her father and grandfather (my father in law) look at women. My ex husband loved my curves but once I put weight on he looked at me differently. My Father In Law has always been good for making remarks about a woman and how they look. How fat they looked. I don't think they realized how those little remarks can make a girl, woman or person feel.

I am supporting my daughter while she tries to loose weight. We talk about how to eat better and make better choices. She is living with her father and his girlfriend and she talks about how they don't have healthy food choices in the house which makes it hard for her to eat well.

So think before you speak or make comments about people. Think about how what you say can influence your daughter, son, wife, niece, nephew, cousin etc. We are all competing with the media and Hollywood in trying to tell our daughters, sons etc. that being thin is not being perfect.

This is giving me the motivation to really lose this weight but at a reasonable pace and to show my daughter that it can be done! Remember to be active everyday!! Move!! Don't just sit there and watch tv because you are bored. I remember getting up in the morning and being active all day. I would do my chores, play outside till my mother called me inside for dinner and possible lunch. Then I would be outside again playing.

Well I hope this has helped some of you to get your motivation back. To know that you are not alone on this lifestyle change and journey to finding your inner, smaller you!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINDA!
    I have adult daughters and have also found these same issues. I know that they have made tons of friends and had a great time socially. However, one of the daughters is so discouraged about her weight. It hurts me to see her hurt.
    2709 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/23/2014 12:00:39 AM
    I see my daughter that way, too. When my late husband was sick, she because bulimic. Fortunately, I checked her computer history and found it, and was able to counsel her for better health.

    Love your daughters and praise them for non-image successes.
    2712 days ago
  • DLYNCH86
    2713 days ago
    Body image is such a deep rooted image for so many of us. It has a big impact on our journey and can really impact whether or not we will even be successful.

    Great points made here! I totally agree!
    2713 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    It would be a wonderful place if everyone kept their comments to themselves. You one knows what damage they are doing with remarks regardless of age. Then put that pressure onto a young person, that is soooooooooooooo wrong because all they hear is fat---and that is not the truth for many of those hearing that word. Hope with your guidance your daughter will learn to love herself.
    2713 days ago
    I also cringe when I hear a mother put herself down, or comment that she feels "fat" today, or makes any unkind statement about her own body in front of her children, especially daughters. I know I have been guilty of catching myself complaining about my thighs or my hair, or my whatever. I wouldn't dare comment on another person's size or shape ever, and had to realize that that has to include myself. My son believes that I am perfect : ) unless, I tell him otherwise.

    Great blog!
    2713 days ago
  • SNS1968
    2713 days ago
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