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Can't stop reliving the memories

Friday, August 15, 2014

Tomorrow will be the fourth anniversary of the passing of my girl, Sadie. I miss her so much.


I have promised myself to keep moving forward--I will run tomorrow, spend lots of time with Tom and Jasper, and try not to dwell on the sadness. I have been reliving each day as it happened four years ago--from the first vet visit, to the surgery, to the drive to Ithaca to the devastating phone call. The pain is still so real, as if it just happened. It shouldn't have happened.

I miss my girl.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sending you BIG hugs on your loss of such a beautiful and sweet companion. I know how you feel...we lost our Chin Chin cat (pic page) several years ago and then her baby (who was actually twice her size) a year after. It was a horrible loss having Chin Chin for 16 years and her Keanu cat for almost 18.

    We LOVE our fur babies..I call them our angels hanging out with us just wearing their little fur suits.

    It's good that you hold such love in your heart..I know your Sadie is still with you and patiently waiting until the time is right that she can jump into your arms again. emoticon
    2500 days ago
    I understand! My heart dog has been gone 3 1/2 years now and I still think of her almost daily. My little Halo is doing his best to help, but my Jozee's paw prints are HUGE ones to fill and I don't think they ever will be. We have to just look at the new "blessing" that is before us today and remember our heart dogs with fondness. emoticon
    2534 days ago
    You know I feel your pain. How absolutely horrible. Sadie was so very lucky to have you. I am not sure what to say about the doctors but I know that I was so very lucky to find Aspen's Neurologist. I believe now, after Aspen's cancer and Utah's epilepsy that it is simply extremely hard to find a great doctor and equally as hard to determine who you can trust. Just look at what happened to you on a common mammogram visit. Not to make things worse on that topic but we can not control others and how well they do their jobs. It is horrible but the truth. It is NOT your fault.

    You actually extended her life by trying to hard and most importantly you were there. I was having some flash backs yesterday (one) and those are simply too hard to live through. I have to literally say to myself, emoticon emoticon emoticon until my mind stops. It is too hard and you must stop it.

    YOU ARE STRONG. Tell yourself that. Self talk is critical in this situation. You were extremely luck to find such a connection in your life. I am too, twice. Some never find this connection.

    I could go on and on but I know you know what to do. I am certain I would have done the same thing as you in your situation. And I am smart and loving just like you. I would have done the same thing. There is no way for us to know. It is simply not fair but it is the truth.

    Let yourself feel the sorrow but only if it is manageable or for short periods. Do NOT let the pain break you to pieces. Thank God for Jasper and treasure your time with him. I fully know it is not at all the same but if Jasper can help, allow him to do so.

    I had to add... amazing picture. emoticon
    2535 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/16/2014 6:19:45 AM
    emoticon emoticon
    2535 days ago
    I know this has been so hard for you, Pattie. You still miss that precious Sadie even though you now have the handsome Jasper. There are so many wonderful memories of your sweet girl.

    2535 days ago
  • PCOH051610
    I just read your original blog, too! emoticon
    2535 days ago
    She was a beautiful dog. I lost my shepard-collie 4 years ago too. A day never goes by where I don't think of him. Take care and good luck on the run.
    2535 days ago
    2535 days ago
    emoticon So sorry.
    2535 days ago
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