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Chasing The Past

Sunday, December 21, 2014

I don't know if you can relate to what I talked about or not but it sure made a difference for me. I am putting the past in the past and shutting the door. I am going to take the positive things that I learned and discovered and use them to help me going forward.

That is the first part of my plan...look forward, move forward and keep the focus ahead. Keep my vision and my goals in front of me. Keep my eye on the prize!

I have to remember that my health is important and it is not a game. My life is nothing to play around with. I need to celebrate where I am now and live my life to the fullest now. Okay so I can't do everything that I want to do now. Some things are difficult but it will be easier as I move forward. Sitting around whining and having pity parties for myself isn't helping. It won't change things. Standing up for me and my health and making those positive lifestyle changes is what is going to make a difference.

Waiting for 2012 to come knocking at my door and make things all better is never going to happen so I can't sit around waiting for it. It is 2014 with 2015 just around the corner. I intend to live in the now. STOP CHASING THE PAST!!

Okay so there it is, my first spark. I feel really motivated right now and very encouraged about my future!

Much love!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Alright, Susan! You are right, the journey is long, but there are many triumphs and successes to celebrate along the way. Every time you hit a new goal, or do something you couldn't do before, or fit into a new size, or just look better in the old, or just feel good about what you ate for the day, or the exercise you accomplished, you have something to celebrate. Those things add up to a wonderful feeling of joy of living. You go, girl. Love ya
    2386 days ago
    Great post I have been trying to leave the past their. We can do it.
    2402 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14731147
    long time no see! glad to be updated emoticon
    January will be so much easier all the way around.
    ps. inside of closet or cabinet door to post a vision/goal board/calendar is an option
    thanks for talk it out, braking the chain... you are good & ready
    2406 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/31/2014 1:18:14 PM
    So glad you did a vlog, I have missed them.

    Keep up the good work and keep your focus my friend.

    2407 days ago
    AWESOME .... Keep sparking my friend, keep sparking!
    2411 days ago
    Great insight you shared about trying to recreate the past instead of moving forward into the future - just what I needed to hear as we move into a new year. I too am struggling to find my motivation and your vlog has given me things to think about as I start to make plans for 2015.
    Thanks for sharing Susan, and all the best for you in the new year.

    2411 days ago
    Thank you! I cried when you said. I got to find a new vision. For weeks, months, including days…I sat in my little corner thinking, eating, bemoaning, and after listening to you not once but twice…I came to a big A-HA! The a-ha is. I finally found myself “burnt out”. 2012 I took off. 2013 I was still taking off despite of all the stuff that had happen within those 2 years. I was still making it happen, then all at once “reality” 2014! I slowed down…The reality kicked in. The reality was.

    I was going backwards and I’m repeating bad habits I thought I had released. This is a constant thing and life is life; it goes on. But why does it have to go on with the same self-made mistake. I get that, but regaining weight when you have no reason to as a reason to cope with “Reality” is a far fetch one. My health is what started this journey because of my digestion issues, but now I know I’m making mistakes within. I can’t call this a lifestyle change if I keep on flipping over the same damn leaf.

    And if I don’t get a grip; I will send me and my body to early health failure and to my grave. So, I was trying to get a grip in 2014, but the flame was out. I still had to grieve all the loses from 2012 to now. It’s been a rough journey, but I cannot capture the past. I have to capture a new now and start there. I have to get a new grip.
    Thank you! You always know how to open this girly eyes.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2414 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    I also heard about your vlog from STEPH-KNEE and I am so glad I came and listened to it! You are so brave to do vlogs! I am in my 5th month and just hitting that wall that you were talking about...... maybe it's the 5 month wall?? Anyway I think you gave me the inspiration to keep Sparking instead of clinging on to the pizzazz I had in the very beginning! I thank you!
    2414 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    I heard about your vlog from STEPH-KNEE and I am so glad you posted it! Good for you for re-lighting your spark, and thank you for you the inspiration. Have a great day!!

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    2415 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14269091
    emoticon Adding to your spark! So very good to hear from you again!!! You are right in that we can't go back to where we began... BUT we CAN move forward with what we've learned and modify the plan to fit NOW!!! Sounds like you are doing that! emoticon

    2415 days ago
    Great vlog
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    2415 days ago
    1st off, so excited to see your face! :D 2nd, LOVING THE EARRINGS!! emoticon

    I love everything you said and I am so glad you had a great day, and you had another good one today. You are in control and you are kicking butt and taking names. I have news for you... Frank said you are so on the ball that he's moving in with me til I get my crap together! He is a stinky house guest so I guess I better get my a$$ in gear so he can get to stepping sooner rather than later!

    I decided that I would sit here and recap my weights from my journey, but then as you said, shut the door on it. Here are the stats, they aren't pretty...
    SW March 2012: 262
    End of 2012: 212.4 = 49.6 pounds lost in 9 months.
    March 2013 (End of 1 yr mark): 210.2 = 51.8 pounds lost
    December 2013: 199.2 = 62.8 ounds lost
    March 2014 (End of year 2 mark): 186.2 75.8 pounds lost.
    December of 2014... this is the RED ALERT! 197, and down 65 pounds.

    Now I need to add I count my total pounds lost in the grand scheme of life from 272 pounds, so on my page it is always from there, so I did at one point lose 90 pounds down from my highest, but that was prior to me starting in 2012. I don't want any T police pulling me into the interrogation room and talking numbers with me!

    But what sticks out is that there was a progression, even if it was small amounts, even if it was from 51.8 lbs lost to 62.8 in many many months. It was still a progression. Now I am on the back slide and there are no more excuses.

    You always make me think. I looked at the numbers, I am accepting what has happened, what the reality is now and I am shutting the door on it. But you said it perfectly because we aren't letting go of everything! We are letting go of the icky times, the regains, the days where we struggled, the time we spent off the wagon and not even looking for it. That is done and there is nothing we can do about it. But we must keep the gems, we must keep the habits we have learned, we must get all of our tools gathered up and pack our bags for our journey and get this thing done. We can't recreate the magic of 2012, it is long gone and as you said it's about to be 2015. But we can take 2015 as a new year, a new part of our journey and make it the best year yet. We can't set the same goals, we can't expect the same things to motivate us... we are 3 years older and hopefully wiser, and we have changed so many times since then. So we will continue to learn and grow and figure out what is going to move us forward on this journey.

    You know what kind of attitude I had today, and it was not a good one... so I need to take a page from your book and just do the dang thing. Get my head in the right place and just work at it! This crap is no joke, you said it's our health and our lives, and we can't joke around with it anymore. I am excited about what 2015 can bring to us, well, I guess we'll have to go out and get it... and no I don't mean Jack In The box lol emoticon

    2415 days ago
    That's the attitude!!! Live for the here and now; the past is gone!!! Good luck and stay positive!!!
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    2415 days ago
    So good to see you again Susan! I understand a lot of what you are saying. We can only move forward, but as we move forward, take the lessons we've learned with us. This journey is a learning journey, and it's also about forgiving yourself when things happen to our plans. It's about picking ourselves up and moving forward. Good for you for planning to do that!
    2415 days ago
    Glad to see you emoticon and missed you I feel alot of what you were saying, but I as you are trying to get back, and I wish you the best in the (days, weeks, months, and years ) to come! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2416 days ago
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    2416 days ago
    Didn't see the entire video blog. It sounds like you are ready to make changes. Just take one step at a time & keep pushing yourself forward. emoticon Never give up you are so worth it.
    2416 days ago
    Your words brought tears to my eyes. I too need to look forward, take the things I have learned and move FORWARD. I am looking forward to having you at Hogwarts with me, like minded people all looking forward...sounds like a plan to me. Come on 2015, WE are ready!
    2416 days ago
    That's where your Vlog FREEZES for me and I can't hear the rest. When you say, "and that's where the bottom fell out," is where it FREEZES. I've tried to play it again. I'd love to hear the rest of the story and I can *see* the ORANGE loading bar, fill-up as it gets ready to present itself ... but ... oh, yeah!! WooHoo, I got it to work!! Must a' been a glitch. Just reopened a new tab.

    No more vision boards, no more participation in sign-ups, no more motivation ... oh, girl, we've all been there. You're right. We all need that TIME to THINK about where we're going and BREAK IT DOWN.

    This is an incredible thought process. Look at YOU, telling yourself, if you want the snack, you can have it ... if you still want it, tomorrow, or ... how about CLOSING that bag of bakery doughnuts . . . ?!! THAT WAS SHEER WILL POWER OF A SUPER WOMAN!!

    Thank you for sharing. I tremendously enjoyed!! You've INSPIRED me!!
    2416 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/21/2014 12:05:21 PM
    Susan! I have missed you! Love this. Sums up me right now as well, trying not to live in the past. Bless your husband's heart and his donuts, lol. Sounds like my hubby. YES, the journey is LOOOOONG but one day at a time. Thanks for your inspiring words!
    2416 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154

    I definitely can relate to EVERY WORD you said, as I've been there and done that! I've even fallen back into it several times, over again and God has brought me out every time! It's a journey that we take and God is directing our path, no matter what happens. We learn different things as we take each baby step. Those are the steps I choose to take as it's so much easier to do that than to bite off more than I'm able to do, and have a set back and have to regroup. When I have to regroup, I've lost time and baby steps. So, I stick with the baby steps, as they add up faster than anything else. If there is anything I can do for you, just HOLLER and I'll do the best that I can to give you a HAND UP!

    You're a brave woman, speaking out the way you did and I admire that!


    - Nancy Jean -
    2416 days ago
    Awesome! I wasn't able to watch the video on this device, but it sounds like you are ready for the new year. With that determination, I'm sure you'll reach your goals!
    2416 days ago
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