Surprise! I haven't fallen off the Earth!
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Okie dokie, so I knew when I first embarked on this journey that the first time around went a bit too smoothly. My weight line plot was a fairly consistent downward trend. I made it to a low weight of 203...and then life got in the way. The worst part is knowing that I was sooooo close to the ones - and I let it get away. I've gained back about 80 pounds over the last 3 years. I'm still not as heavy as when I first joined Spark, but every pound gained is a pound that I mourn for. I owned my weight loss and as the pounds came back on I felt like each one was taking away that identity I had adopted and embraced. Lately I've felt like I must not deserve it - that it was something too good for me to have. Anyway - enough of the woe is me.
I've gotten myself into this mess and I've got to get myself out of it one day, one pound, one inch at a time. I have to get back to where I left off and I have got to experience the ones this time. The next two months are going to be the hardest test. I think as soon as I drop the first 15# I'll be able to get my confidence back. So far 2# down since after winter break. I'll take it.