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Day 163 - Recovering

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

We had a wonderful brunch with my parents at the Riviera Hills Restaurant, which has a great view of the lake from a higher elevation, as you can see from yesterday's blog photo. Steve had made a reservation, but we didn't think we need to confirm it, and of course, they didn't have any record of it. They were kind enough to accommodate us, even though they were totally booked. We sat outside, in the shade, and my parents could enjoy the view while we ate.

It was delightful, but it was the one dining experience that I've come to dread: THE BUFFET!!! So many wonderful things to try, and I decided that I would go ahead and take small samples of anything I felt like eating. Yes, I ate too much, and yes, I suffered a bit in the evening after we got home. I enjoyed every minute of it, and I know that this is a once-a-month (if that) occasion, and I won't feel guilty. We didn't have dinner last night, so my total calorie count wasn't completely off the charts, but I still felt the need to make up for it a bit today.

The weekend was also a reminder of the challenges I have dealing with Mom. Her depression has gotten worse, and she has lost all will to do anything physical. She can barely climb one step, and it's both frustrating and agonizing to watch. She was pretty miserable all weekend, although her spirits perked up a bit on Sunday when we went out to eat, because she got to sit and be waited on. (My dad fixed her plate from the buffet line, and then went back and got his own. They've been doing that for 61 years now.)

My mother suffers from clinical depression. I've known it for a long time, but it does get worse with age, if not managed. She does take some medications to help her mood, but she's missing the key ingredients of exercise and social activities that are key to alleviating the blues. Her illness, and my tendency to have some of the same symptoms, is what drives me to be the positive person I am. I am fighting this illness with everything I've got, because I refuse to become like her.

The support and love and encouragement I get from you all is so important. It lifts me up in ways you can't even imagine, although now that I've shared another part of my history, maybe you can.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Now, go out and make somebody else's day, just as you do for me! As my friend IOWARHINO says, read a stranger's blog post and give them positive feedback. Give them a boost, and you'll get one in return.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hope she starts feeling better. :)
    2268 days ago
    I am sorry to hear of your mother's depression! emoticon emoticon

    I am glad, though, that she is getting some help for that. You're right, exercise would help, because it releases serotonin into the blood stream. Too bad she doesn't live closer to you, you could be her coach! Maybe you could talk her into to doing some physical therapy. My grandparents went to physical therapy every weekday at the hospital nearest to them and it really helped them. A lot of people don't know that it's available, but it is! It's one of those things that you have to ask for sometimes. Tell her you are worried about her balance, and that might help her get in the door. See if it helps!

    Thank you for sharing about her depression, and yours, that can be really difficult! I have PTSD, so I know a bit about depression. With PTSD, you have really bad nightmares and depression. I try to listen to what I am telling myself, because if you can make your self-talk positive, it can help a lot. My main problem lately is in how I let myself be exposed to scary stuff and then have horrific nightmares! But it's just so hard to avoid, and you never know what will trigger one. So I've mainly just resolved to be brave, do what I like, and see what happens! I don't want to have to avoid great books and movies and TV shows. So the focus has to be on how to deal with the aftermath. Had a bad nightmare? Well, that's okay, we can move on. That's what I'm doing about that.

    I am calling myself Hannah_Calm right now, because I am trying to always be calm. It takes conscious effort, but it's well worth it! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2271 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/12/2015 8:24:07 PM
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    I am so glad you had this time with your parents in such a beautiful setting. In your previous blog you wrote about things your mother did that you are grateful for. It was beautifully written and heartfelt. If you have not shared them with her, please do. It might just poke a small bright hole in her depression.
    It seems like she perks up when she is being taken care of, like your dad fixing her plate. There is a clue there, that a Thinking of You Card might brighten her spirits. Depression is so draining, but sometimes very simple things can make a difference.

    God's Blessings Dear Friend emoticon
    2271 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15118206
    Your honesty and ability to be vulnerable with complete strangers is awe inspiring! I'm sorry you're Mom is suffering from depression. Your family sounds like mine. The difference is my Dad is depressed and my Mom is a terrible enabler. I'm glad you're fighting to be the best you, you can possibly be!

    Much love,
    2271 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12915013
    So happy to read you were able to be with your Mom. Depression is so very difficult when you are so deeply in it. I suffer from depression but I have meds plus get help.
    SP has been a saving grace for me, I am able to communicate with people and think about them rather then myself. For that I am deeply grateful. I know getting away from your home helps depression so I am happy your Mom was able to enjoy being away. How is that new home of yours? Have a great week and keep on smiling, keep people guessing what you are up too.
    emoticon emoticon
    2271 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12267038
    I am happy you shared with us. Your post are always so upbeat and motivational, I am glad you are focusing on the positive and keep pushing forward!
    2272 days ago
    Sorry to rad about your mom. Thank you for sharing it. My family are dealing with my mom's dementia/Alzheimer disease. It's been for a couple of years now. We try our best day to day.

    You can combat clinical depression. You are a positive person and you reach out to others and help them. That is what is so awesome about you, Steve.
    2272 days ago
    Glad you enjoyed the buffet and the beautiful view - feel good today too because you got back on track straight away! Sorry to hear your mom is so weighed down by depression - it is a most debilitating illness when you give in to it.... There is a long history of depression in my family too - my grandmother was bi-polar most of her adult life, her brother becaume instituted after the first world war due to what used to be called "shell-shock" and he lived in that home for the rest of his life. My sister is on meds for bi-polar symptoms and we other three siblings all have a tendancy to low-grade depression. I am trying to simplify my life, to cope differently with stress than in the past and to generally look for the bright side of things - the silver lining is usually there, you just have to look at situations from different angles! You are doing great, Steve!
    2272 days ago
  • ZRIE014
    keep it up
    2272 days ago
    I had not a clue you needed to confirm reservations! I thought that's why you made reservations...to reserve it! LOL Life, what a hoot! Just glad it worked out & what a view! I am glad your Mom perked up for Sunday, but I am sure , as a matter of fact I know, that kind of depression and lethargy is something to deal with!
    The buffet sounded wonderful and I would have done just what you did! And, since you didn't do the "well, I blew it so I should just keep on eating..." thing, you did great!
    I hope you're getting further settled in your wonderful new home!
    Have a great week, Steve!
    Friendship, Love & Hugs, Always!
    2272 days ago
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