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Stepping out of that comfort zone

Friday, July 31, 2015

Realizing it's not just weight loss for me, I've reached my goal once and I was still not comfortable in my own skin. I was happier in areas I hadn't been before sure, but "comfortable" in my own skin, not so much. Learning that people are no kinder to you when you are "smaller" (that is mostly a myth, I lived it and with therapy, learned it was and is, the biggest reason I self sabotaged myself and regained)....and you are no longer welcome at most of the tables you used to sit at, often those people/tables are even crueler than the "smaller" people had been before....hard and hurtful lesson. Especially when you look in the mirror and see a stranger because outside that mirror, you still see yourself at your highest weight. I used to jump at my own reflection in store windows; makes me smile now actually (wow, that's huge progress for me). My brain never stopped being "the big girl," it still hasn't. I still gravitate and want to sit with the people I used to even though I don't feel welcome. I just no longer want to sit with the painful, negative things inside. The inside...no matter what the outside looks like, it doesn't matter. It never mattered....

I've since gained back part of what I lost and am doing my best every day to reach being comfortable in my skin, no matter what that skin looks like. This quote is one of my favorite reminders that it's okay to be obsessed with being a better me. =)

~These are my personal thoughts, I don't speak for everyone, just myself and with thoughts to those I've met along my journey who have experienced similar things.~
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Be happy with yourself and you will find friends who are happy to be with you -- regardless of size. I found your blog inspiring.
    2122 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13516725
    Know that you've done it before, so you know that you can do it again.

    2142 days ago
    We are in the same place. Read my blog today for details. We need a new way to measure ourselves and our progress. I hope you find yours.
    2149 days ago
  • CAROL_31649731
    What a wonderfully-worded blog! So glad I stopped by tonite . . . needed to hear this. Really hit home, especially the reflection in store windows (mirrors even, for me). And yes, that IS certainly progress. Progress that you've definitely earned . . . be proud! I hope to be as comfortable in my own skin someday, as you are beginning to feel in yours!!! Kudos, and thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon
    2149 days ago
  • B-N-ME
    Learning to love yourself regardless of your size, is what is most important!!
    What people think comes from a perspective of not fully knowing you and sometimes a jealousy, so know this, you are loved, you are special, and you are beautiful regardless of size or what people say!!! emoticon
    2149 days ago
    True friends will stick by you through it all...no matter your size or anything else for that matter.I am personally learning that myself. Be there for your friends and they will be there for you...the ones that aren't are not your true friends.
    2149 days ago
    It is definitely okay to be obsessed with being a better you! Just don't shut out the people that really care about you because you're so busy working on yourself. I've done it in the past and you don't want to go there. Stay positive and strong!

    2149 days ago
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