Saturday, September 19, 2015
For any of you who may follow me on Facebook, you already know this. If I sound repetitive, so be it.
But first, a word from my sponsor: "Inevitable". Webster's Vest Pocket Dictionary briefly defines 'inevitable' as "incapable of being avoided or escaped".
Within the last three weeks I have been through some interesting new experiences and have been admitted into a stay-in-my-home Hospice program.
What an incredible, dedicated group of people! I am in this at an earlier stage than many families choose. The support for my husband and daughters, etc., is firmly in place; I am still capable of answering important questions myself and expressing wishes that perhaps later I could not do. I have time to enjoy these new friends in my life. I have time to appreciate some dear people already in my life who are totally there whenever I call.
And all that is happening occurs within the realm of inevitability. I will die. Maybe no sooner or later than some of you. No one can really put a number to it. In my case, a lung cancer has grown and metastasized, perhaps into my brain. A beloved family doctor has said 2 to 5 years, but that's just a guess.
I have chosen not to avoid what is going on but rather to be curious and feel adventurous, serene, and SO FULL OF LOVE. Those of you with a strong faith, this is what has been and always will be available to us: LOVE. However you imagine it, it is a great mystery none of us can avoid, and who should want to? Certainly not me.
What my life contains now is an overflowing of blessings, a desire to make art for as long as possible, and (as some LinkedIn executive posted) solve for the following problem: FEAR.
My wish for any of you out there who take the (long!!!) time to read this: have no fear. It takes away from your God-given ability to appreciate and love all that surrounds you. It can easily give power to that which can be evil.
I have walked a path obviously prepared for me since mid August. I give thanks that I can see the power behind that guidance.
God bless you all! I'm going to try to keep writing, long-winded though I am!!