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Lovemaking Tips for Seniors.

Sunday, October 11, 2015



1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually who you think they are and is really in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner’s name on your hand in big letters and permanent marker in case you can’t remember...

6. Use extra poly-grip so your teeth don't end up under the bed .

7. Have Paracetamol, nebuliser or asthma spray, whatever you need , ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbours are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news... even if it's 8pm!! Better still, tweet the world!!

10. Don't even THINK about trying it twice


11. Take a selfie with your partner so if you forget, you've got evidence.





'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let’s go upstairs and make love', and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN.....
‘getting lucky’ means you find your car in the car park.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
An 'all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes..............
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