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Must Be Rough If I'm Blogging

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

I'm feeling very blah today. Well, let's be real: I've been feeling pretty blah lately in general. I'm gaining weight again and hanging on to every bit of motivation/determination I can, because I don't want to wake up one day and find myself back to my heaviest weight. I hate this weight decade! This was once my goal, but when I reached it, I realized I could and should get to as healthy of a weight as I possibly could. The further away from the 200's the better. I feel bloated and tired, and am experiencing a malaise that keeps pulling a cloud over my head.

It's not just my weight. In fact, my weight may just be symptomatic of a bigger problem: I am really unhappy at my job. Yes, I thank the heavens above that I have a job. However, this job is more stressful than I feel is necessary. I'm not going to go into specifics, because it will only add fuel to the fire. I will say that one of the biggest reasons I'm staying here is for my son. This job provides a bit of flexibility and is family friendly. My little guy has developmental delays, and we have weekly appointments with his therapists, so I have to excuse myself early on those days. If everything were copacetic, I would have moved on a year or so ago, but my little guy's needs definitely matter more to me than mine (even if that means I am stuck). Besides, I don't even know what I'm really good at, which doesn't help me look for a meaningful career. Too many variables are getting in the way of my well-being.

I don't complain a lot, and especially not online, but I needed to get the feelings down in some format to really figure out what's happening internally. I need to grab my metaphorical blanket and a good book, because I'm going to be in this rut for awhile :(
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  • no profile photo CD15003511
    :-( I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties. Sending you lots of positive energy.
    1952 days ago
  • LINDA!
    You are a wonderful mother for putting your son's needs above your own. However, I am so sorry that you are stuck in the job that isn't one that really want. I was in the same position years ago. I can relate - it is often difficult to even go to work when you really don't want to be there. I am happy that you vented. It is often necessary to let it all out. emoticon
    1964 days ago
    Thank you both for your kind words!!
    1964 days ago
    A place you could possibly look into is the area where your son gets help. With your background there must be openings where you'd fit and understanding coworkers too. Just an idea, here 4 u always ((hugs))
    1964 days ago
    I send you the biggest hug I can possibly send.You are the most positive person who's ever entered my life and always prove your an incredible mom and woman.Keep looking for a new position, it is out there.There's more than 1 place that will work hun
    1964 days ago
    Some days it is best we clear our feelings out. Hope your day ahead is a great one.
    1965 days ago
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