My brain is all over the place today, but it tends to do that when I go out of my routine for any reason. I really am a boring person, so the least little deviation from my schedule has me all out of sorts. Thus, forgive the ADHD-ness of this blog that seriously might make little to no sense at all. Hopefully, it will be helpful to you in some way, or at least make you crack a smile. I just want to share a few fat facts I've learned along my journey.
Today, I bought a Snapple Diet raspberry tea. Generally, I don't think tea and any sort of fruit flavor make good bedfellows (I'm all about keeping my Earl Grey out of the orchard), but this looked good and was on sale at the checkout lane. (Frankly, after walking through the Hades that is Walmart, I would have preferred something much stronger, but I gave up drinking anything more fermented than diet root beer a long time ago.) At five tiny calories a bottle and ninety-eight tiny cents from my wallet, I couldn't resist. In the lid of that Snapple was this message, and it reminded me of something. People often ask me what my exercise consists of. Since I've lost quite a bit of weight, everyone seems to assume that I walk around in yoga pants doing sit-ups and running marathons and hanging out in some gym, but it's just not true. I'm a VERY sedentary person, as per the nature of my work and also the nature of my laziness. I occasionally go out geocaching, I may take a very short bike ride to the closest mailbox, and I walk a short distance on a bike trail every now and then, but in all honesty, I don't move very much, other than my typing fingers. The one "muscle" I DO move is my head, so according to this wise lid from that Snapple, maybe that is valuable exercise after all. Thinking actually burns calories, and all I do all day is think! I have to think about everyday life, like bills and taxes and whether or not I remembered to change the heater filter last month, but I also think for a living. I have to remember pesky, grammar nerd things (it just isn't appropriate to leave one's participles dangling). The closest I get to running is to catch up to the end of a run-on sentence so I can fix it, but maybe all my thinking actually helps. In addition to editing, I also have a passion for writing, so I'm always entering writing contests and submitting short pieces here and there. Today, I wrote a story that I hope will be published in an upcoming Chicken Soup book, and I entered a contest about weight loss inspiration, so maybe those pieces burned a few calories, even if they don't win publication or prize money. (Cross your fingers for me, though, because nothing makes me happier than bylines and money!) It is estimated that the brain burns between 20 and 50 calories a day, depending on the thought required, so think all you can, folks! Thinking hard earns you 5 saltines, half a pack of Buddig honey ham, or a Weight Watchers string cheese!
Something else I learned that is quite interesting is that while most of us know our time on the throne is an indication of some fat being released, it may not be a "number two" issue. If you want to avoid having the bottom-heavy figure of the average Dalek, you have to tinkle! My family are natural health nuts, so they know a lot, and I've learned a lot from them. Years ago, my grandpa told me that most fat is lost with the liquid kind of waste, not the solid. It seems a bit odd to me, but it's true! As Livestrong puts it, "The byproducts of fat metabolism are expelled through your lungs, sweat and urine, while the energy liberated from fat is used to maintain your body's biological function." The lesson here? If you are drinking enough water (and no, diet soda and rendezvous with my boyfriend do NOT count as water) and are burning fat and getting rid of it, you'll be making a few trips to the bathroom, the kind of trips that allow a fella to stand at the urinal, not have to take a seat. Keep an eye on your potty business, folks. I know for a fact that when I notice more tinkles, I notice fewer pounds on the scale.
I am 45 years old, and my daughter has not been a baby or a toddler for at least 14 years, yet I get so stoked when I find baby snacks on the clearance rack. Why? Certainly not because I'm expecting! Babies are people, too, right? As people, they eat people food. The difference is that their people food is often not as high in calories (these bars are only 70), is better portion controlled, and often contains fewer nasties like dyes and sweeteners, etc. I don't know at what point we determine that adult food has to contain all these horrible things, but I can tell you that a large part of my diet success has been stocking my snack cupboard with things like Gerber Graduates and even baby/toddler/kid microwave meals. I don't recommend buying jars of baby food (though the peach kind reminds me of the yummy preserves my Grammy used to make, and it's actually really good on toast!). I also don't recommend making Similac smoothies, but keep an eye out for toddler snacks and meals, because they will help you get smaller...and I promise they won't make you start sucking your thumb (not that it would hurt, because thumbs have no calories, but you would look pretty silly).
So there you have it, a few weird tips of advice for no particular reason - just some things I felt like sharing. I wish all of you a happy, fun weekend, filled with the people and events that make you think, tinkle, and feel like a kid again..