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NO MORE SHAME

Friday, March 25, 2016

I am sharing another blog from Girlfriends in God. This resonates with me on many levels. As I have often said, I love my family, but I do not trust them.

I was molested as a child, by a family member, and when I told my Mother about it, she called me a liar and spanked me. By any account in this day and age that would be child abuse. It took me many years to forgive her, and my abuser. Then it was years of counseling to come to grips with my being an incorrigible child. Of course I didn't share what had happened to me with my counselor, I wasn't going to share that again with anyone!!

So part of me was broken as a child. And I believe that when I feel intimidated, or am giving ultimatums or expected to perform according to other's perceptions, I rebel, and revert to the little girl who is not believed. Unfortunately in the past I have used food as my protector and my solace. Then the bad habit becomes automatic, and I don't even know why I am overeating. By doing a book study on Inside Out Weight Loss, it is helping me balance my inner and outer tensions, and actually work on some inner healing. I closed down this part of me so I didn't have to deal with it. I managed a great career as a financial manager, and raised my children. So I thought because I was highly functional everything was fine.

I am finally seeing the scale slip downwards, but it isn't because I have made a change in my eating, that has been in place for months. It is because I am letting go of the crap and allowing myself healing.

God be with you this Easter season. And now more than ever, I know he is the GREAT HEALER!


Today's Truth- Girlfriends in God

I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10
Friend to Friend

Debbie’s paternal grandparents had both a housekeeper and groundskeeper who lived in their basement apartment. Nina and Silas were like part of the family and had lived with the grandparents for as long as Debbie could remember. On many occasions, when Debbie’s parents and grandparents went out to dinner, she and her older sister were left in the care of Silas and Nina. The girls’ parents had no idea that Silas was molesting their precious children time and time again.

From the time Debbie and Beth were three and six years old, until they were ten and thirteen, Silas fondled and sexually molested the girls in the basement apartment lit only by the black-and-white television blinking in the background. While Silas ravaged Debbie’s body, her sister held her face in her hands and told her stories. Together, the girls escaped to a land faraway while the worse nightmare imaginable was played out before them.

Silas warned them, “If you tell anybody, I’ll hurt your brother.” So the girls suffered in silence.

When Debbie was ten years old, she and her sister spent the night with her maternal grandmother while her parents were away on a business trip. The elderly grandmother paused at the opened door to watch her precious granddaughters kneeling beside their bed. With arms wrapped around each other they began to say their prayers.

“Dear God, thank You for Mommy and Daddy and Kevin, and Grandma and Grandpa Wilson, and Grandma James. We pray You will protect us from Silas and keep him from hurting us and touching us in private places. We pray…”

The stunned grandmother clutched her heart, rushed to embrace the girls, and sobbed uncontrollably. The rest was a blur.

A few hours later, in the wee hours of the morning, their parents came back from their business trip…two days early. The girls could hear their parents crying in the next room, but nothing was ever mentioned about Silas. All they knew was that the next time they went to Grandma and Grandpa Wilson’s house, Silas and Nina were gone.

Years passed with little mention of the years of abuse by Silas. Like old war veterans who never mention the horrors of battle, the girls never mentioned the molestation again. However, the chronic pain of the past was an undercurrent to their total existence. Debbie felt dirty, used, and cheap. She felt like damaged goods.

Debbie accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior when she was a small child, but she had a difficult time believing Jesus could accept her. She didn’t see herself as a precious holy child of God dressed in robes of righteousness. She saw herself as a dirty orphan dressed in tattered rags. Then one day, she went to a Bible study and heard for the first time about her identity as a child of God.

“I didn’t feel like a holy child of God, but that’s who the Bible said I was,” she explained. “I read and reread that list of who I am in Christ. The more I studied about my new identity and the truth that sets us free, the more I began to accept it as true. I began to realize it was Satan who held up the picture of Silas and what he had done to me to remind me of who he wanted me to believe I was.

“But that was a lie. God took the truth and massaged it into my broken heart like a healing ointment. He placed a crown of beauty on my head and washed away the ashes. He gave me the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and dressed me in a garment of praise instead of despair. No longer was my identity determined by what happened to me as a child. My identity is determined by what happened in me through Jesus Christ.”

Debbie accepted her new identity. It was there all along, like a cloak waiting to be placed on the princess’ regal shoulders. She received the robe of righteousness and now walks with the confidence of a dearly loved child of the King.

This devotion may have been difficult for you to read, but it is very important. No matter what you have been through, if you know Jesus as Savior and Lord, you are a pure and holy child of the King.

Have you accepted your new identity? Are you ready to start believing the truth? Are you ready to put off the ragged robes of shame and put on the robe of righteousness that Jesus purchased just for you with His own life? He’s holding it open for you right now. Slip it on. It’s just your size.

Let’s Pray

Dear Heavenly Father who loves me, I come to You with a heart humbled by Your tender love for me. I thank You that You have removed the filthy rags of this world from my life and clothed me with the righteousness of Christ. Help me to hold my head high as a child of the King.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Happy Easter All- He is Risen!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LEANJEAN6
    Wouldn't it be so fun if we all lived close?-Lynda
    1867 days ago
  • SUNNYCALIGIRL
    emoticon


    You have faced your fears and found out someone else was responsible for them.
    You have suffered a lifetime of trauma and now you have looked it in the eye and realized you are more important than it is.

    You are emoticon

    emoticon for sharing.
    1867 days ago
  • SMALLSTEPS
    I'm sure you've heard this before - but you are not what others do to you (but, boy, howdy, is that a tough thought to get through). We've all traveled through difficult times - some more considerably difficult than others - but you're here, on this blessed day, sharing yourself with the world. You won! Big hugs!
    1869 days ago
  • JUSTYNA7
    What a gift you have shared with us today. We are all perfect and nothing God has made perfect can man make imperfect. When we return to our true selves we can take off the robe of shame we hide ourselves under. I realized that while I have taken it off... many times I put it back on. When I don't feel like I am enough. Thank you for this reminder. emoticon Happy Easter!
    1869 days ago
  • SAMMIROWDY
    Hugs to you. You are a beautiful person, strong and worthy. emoticon
    1869 days ago
  • INFLATED
    My daughter was fondled when she was two. I believed her. I took her to the pediatrician and she was examined. There was no evidence and no police report was filed. When she was six and in school, the teacher asked me why she would pull away when she tried to hug her sitting at her side and I told her what happened. She reported to Social Services and then they had to prove we hadn't touched our daughter. We had to go there and pay $35 a session which we didn't have. I called up her abuser and told him that it was in the hands of Social Services. He said that if he had done something like that it would have had to have happened before he had a stroke.

    We had a wall phone and an extension and I thought my husband was going to tear the phone from the wall!

    His daughter called me and said I'd better have a good lawyer because he was thinking of suing us for slander. I told her God would judge between him and me.

    He was in a wheelchair and taking hot pies from the oven, when one fell into his lap and burned him and on his hands when he lifted it off. He was never notified by authorities. It is not only sad for the children, but also for the parents that have to contend with slimeballs like this guy. We had to pay to have our daughter see counselors at Social Services and he got off Scot free. He died seven years later, but would get someone to drive him behind our back yard where there was an alley. I had to be keenly aware of my kids in their own back yard.

    Sunny, I am sorry for what happened to you and so grateful that their is a God in heaven that knows the secrets and hidden things that go on in this world. Your innocence was stolen and I view it as I do rape.
    1870 days ago
  • WONDERGALE
    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. God is a healer. emoticon emoticon
    1870 days ago
  • CROUCHINGFLEA
    emoticon emoticon
    1871 days ago
  • CHERYLHURT
    Hugs!
    1871 days ago
  • BONNIEMCC488
    That is a lot to work through and I'm glad you're making strides to work through it!
    emoticon

    Happy Easter to you as well!
    1871 days ago
  • LEANJEAN6
    Oh my heart goes out to you--You are one strong person to have come thru this--- probably can help others too--- How many of us have been thru this and not believed by their parents---I'd say ""a lot of us""----Lynda
    1871 days ago
  • AQUAGIRL08
    I am so sorry for all that have had to endure. Hugs! I was a victim of physical and emotional abuse too. It involved guns, attempted strangulation, slapping and hitting with a closed fist. I have had years of therapy which was very helpful. God and I talk daily - sometimes multiple times. My faith, friends and a very caring aunt and uncle were my saving grace. Angels come in all shapes and sizes. I have been blessed with many during my life. Blessings to you and yours this Easter. Behold the good news! He has risen, he has risen indeed!
    1871 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15145828

    Your blog made me cry, for you, and also, for myself. Shame has been such a prevalent emotion for so much of my life. I am so sorry that you were molested. emoticon

    I am so glad that you've found something that is working! I'm going to look into that book, thank you.

    hugs, Sue
    1872 days ago
  • CHALLENGER15
    I just wanted to cry for your little girl self, but I want to tell you that I applaud you for what you have overcome and are dealing with. emoticon
    1872 days ago
  • MINNIEUK
    Sunny, you are a beautiful person, that much shines through in all your blogs. Thank you for sharing your story and sharing hope and healing.
    Wishing you strength, health and peace.
    1872 days ago
  • SWEETNEEY
    emoticon that's what you are
    1872 days ago
  • SRWYLIE
    I am so moved by this. I'm sorry that you had to suffer such horrible abuse, both by the person who molested you and by your mother for not believing you. That's a double whammy, and totally unfair to a young girl who is trying to protect herself.

    Forgiveness is a great healer, because it can bring peace to our lives. When someone does something wrong to us, and we forgive them, we are removing the power they have over us. It does not mean that what they did wasn't wrong; it simply means that we will no longer let it control us and our emotions. It lets our hearts be free, so that we can love ourselves again, and others too.

    I hope your healing continues, and that the spirit flows over you today and always. Your story touches my heart, and I will lift you up in prayer this Easter weekend.

    Big hugs.
    1872 days ago
  • FOXBAY99

    When bad things happen to us, and we survive them, we get stronger.

    Philippians 4:13
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

    Have a blessed Easter ! For me Easter is a time of hope and renewal.

    emoticon emoticon
    1872 days ago
  • MSHEL7
    So sorry you had to go through that as a child. I'm so happy you have found some peace in our Lord and Savior. Take care of you!
    1872 days ago
  • MARINGAL
    Sunny, I hope many sparkers will follow your path healing internal "crap." As painful as it maybe be, don't stop. Get strong and stronger, face your monsters and you will be on such a beautiful ride of your life. Much hugs, fredie
    1872 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Many hugs and wishing you a blessed Easter. Yes, He is risen! And He loves us.
    1872 days ago
  • HALLOWEENJEN
    emoticon
    1872 days ago
  • MEWHENRYSMAMA
    So sorry you experienced such betrayal and hurt! I am glad you were able to share it here and I hope it helps in your feeling freedom from such a terrible experience!
    I wish for you peace and the well being you deserve!
    Hugs,
    Mary

    1872 days ago
  • BROOKLYN_BORN
    I am so sorry for the abuse you suffered as a child, made worse by not being believed. Unfortunately, this is a common thread in those who suffer an unhealthy relationship with food. The TV show "My 600 pound Life" has documented several stories similar to yours.

    You have great strength to share your story. That strength and your faith will serve you well on your journey to a healthy lifestyle.
    1872 days ago
  • MAYIE53
    Thank you for sharing your story, Sunny. I am all too aware of the damage Satan can do in this world. Wish my faith in the healing power of our Heavenly Father was as strong and steadfast as yours. Have a Blessed Easter.
    1872 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14641362
    You are a very strong person to share this with us and to let go and move on. Thank you for trusting us to share your story. God bless you.
    1872 days ago
  • TSHAIGOOD
    I'm so proud of you for trusting us enough to tell your story and I'm also so very sorry this happened to you. Forgiveness is a hard thing. Much of the time I think I've forgiven someone, to find myself dredging the situation back up in my mind.

    Today is a dark day as God watched his son Jesus die for our sins. But we know the end of the story and know that HE LIVES today and is our hope and our refuge.

    God bless you Sunny!

    trish


    1872 days ago
  • TSHAIGOOD
    I wasn't through, but accidentally submitted.

    Many times i think I've forgiven someone, only to find myself dredging the situation back up in my mind. Is that true forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean I don't remember? Does it mean I should open myself and trust this person?

    I don't know the answers and I struggle sometimes with it, but I cling to God's Word to help me find answers.

    Sunny, thanks again for trusting us enough to tell your story!

    trish
    1872 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/25/2016 3:57:18 PM
  • GODS-PRINCESS
    God is a wonderful healer! I am proof of that!

    Thanks for sharing!
    1872 days ago
  • RUBYSIMMONS
    Amen. God will bring us through
    1872 days ago
  • BRAINBENTT
    emoticon
    1872 days ago
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